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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116236">you’re not the boss of me (i’m sick of twins)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikowhoreyama/pseuds/rikowhoreyama'>rikowhoreyama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Twins, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Sibling AU, Sibling Bonding, Twin AU, au where neil has a twin who was raised by the hatfords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:55:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,187</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikowhoreyama/pseuds/rikowhoreyama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathaniel has a fraternal twin brother named Abram that was raised by the Hatfords until he was thirteen. Nobody else knows of his existence or his relationship to the Wesninski family - otherwise the Moriyamas would have killed him.<br/>Neil and Alex Josten have been living in Millport for just over a year. They get recruited to join the last ranked team in collegiate Exy, the Palmetto State Foxes, and together, they throw themselves into playing, hoping they can survive for as long as possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten &amp; Original Character(s), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi this is the first fic i have written ever in my entire life. i suck at writing consistently but whatever, i'm writing for me. its unbetaed too bc i have no friends<br/>what else?<br/>uh,,, have fun ig. i have used so many lines from canon it’s basically a re-write<br/>if u have a question, don't hesitate to ask, and lmk if u have anything u wanna say to me<br/>i'm on <a href="https://twitter.com/rikowhoreyama">twitter</a>, <a href="https://rikowhoreyama.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rikowhoreyama">instagram</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil Josten let his cigarette burn down to the filter without taking a drag. He didn’t care that his brother had repeatedly told him to let go of the memory of their mother – Neil knew she was dead, but that didn’t make it any easier. Having his fraternal twin Alex around helped with the loneliness, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her. The only reason he was still alive was because of their mother – that wasn’t something easily left behind. </p><p>A clump of ash fell onto the bleachers beneath his feet as Alex sat down beside him. Neil watched him out the corner of his eye as he put his head in his hands and sighed.</p><p>“Stop moping Neil, just because the season’s finished doesn’t mean you won’t play Exy again,” Alex said.</p><p>“I know that, but I still wanted to win,” Neil said. Playing for the Millport Dingoes as a striker had been a short-lived reality. He’d never say he was glad his mom was dead, but she’d beat him black and blue if he had even looked at the soccer-turned-Exy court. </p><p>A door squealed open behind them, and the twins simultaneously looked back, pulling their duffels closer to themselves. </p><p>“Shit that still creeps me out,” Coach Hernandez, “and you’re not even identical.”</p><p>Alex rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot Coach.”</p><p>“No problem,” he replied dryly. “I didn’t see your parents at the game.”</p><p>“They’re out of town,” Neil said.</p><p>“Still or again?”</p><p>Neither, but they couldn’t exactly tell the truth. <em>Our father is a murderer dead-set on hunting us down after our recently deceased mother took five million dollars and the son he knew about and ran.</em> Regardless of how overused the lie was, no one in the school was suspicious of never having seen the Jostens. The twins had managed to keep up appearances for the better part of a year, squatting in an abandoned house for a home address and using the library to respond to any emails the school administration sent their “parents”. </p><p>“I thought they’d make an exception.”</p><p>“I had hoped they would, but no one knew it’d be the last game,” Alex said.</p><p>The team’s loss had taken them out of championships just before finals, and nobody was more disappointed than Neil. He had enjoyed playing with the others, especially as he had to be a striker and learning the new position in less than a year had been fun. He often trained with Alex, who was a goalkeeper when they practiced together, but had picked up bits and pieces for each position, sometimes being used as a last resort sub for any position during a game. With Neil playing as a striker, Alex’s goalkeeping skills had been his focus, and they trained around that. However, one-on-one shootouts were less effective than being with the rest of the team, since in real games there would be backliners and not a goalie whose moves Neil could predict as well as his own. </p><p>He continued, “I’ll probably call them later with the score. Not like they missed a lot.”</p><p>“Not yet, maybe,” Hernandez said. “There’s someone here to see you both.”</p><p>Neil and Alex looked at each other – that phrase didn’t bode well for them. Then Alex turned back to their coach, eyebrow raised, “Anyone interesting?”</p><p>“Sure hope I'm interesting enough for you to listen to.”</p><p>Neil twisted to see a large stranger walking through in the doorway Hernandez had come through earlier. The wife-beater he wore showed off his tribal flame tattoos, and he held a file in each hand. “Alex Josten, I presume?”</p><p>“Who’s asking?”</p><p>“David Wymack. Your coach sent out your brother’s file when I put out a note saying I need a striker. In fact, both of you could do well on my line-up. I know it’s a bit sudden, but the Committee’s been hounding me since Janie got locked up.”</p><p>Neil’s stomach hit his shoes at the names. He snapped his gaze from the folders to the coach’s face. “Foxes,” he said, “Palmetto State University. You can’t be here.”</p><p>“Yet here I stand,” Wymack said. “Need a pen?”</p><p>“No,” Neil said, “No. I’m not playing for you.”</p><p>“What about your brother?”</p><p>The look on Alex’s face said it all – he desperately wanted it. Alex had never been as keen on the whole ‘running’ thing, even though it had been his choice to join them when he was thirteen. Neil knew it was a terrible idea. That was Kevin Day’s team. They couldn’t risk it. Neil bolted past them all, ignoring the shouts following him. Alex could catch up to him back at the house. Forget graduation. Forget “Neil and Alex Josten”. They’d leave tonight and run until they both forgot about Wymack and his offer.</p><p>Neil wasn’t fast enough.</p><p>He was halfway through the locker room when he realised he wasn’t alone. There was somebody waiting for him, standing in the lounge as if they’d predicted he would try to run. Neil was going too fast to avoid the bright yellow racquet that was slammed into his gut. He collapsed onto the floor before he could register what had happened. </p><p>“What the fuck?” </p><p>Neil felt his brother skid to a halt beside him and crouch down, assessing his injuries. Alex put his hand on his ribs and felt around. “Not broken,” he murmured in Polish and then he turned back to Neil’s assailant. “Seriously, what the fuck?”</p><p>He was ignored. </p><p>“God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can’t have nice things.” Wymack’s furious voice sounded a million miles away.</p><p>“Oh, Coach,” someone said over Neil’s head. “If he was nice, he wouldn’t be any use to us, would he?”</p><p>“He’s no use to us if you break him.”</p><p>“You’d rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he’ll be good as new. Or just leave him and take the other one.”</p><p>Neil inhaled so sharply he choked, and every cough threatened to tear him apart. His lungs were on fire as he took in air, and he wrapped an arm around his middle to keep himself together. Alex placed Neil’s other arm around his shoulders and helped him up. </p><p>Wymack already said the man’s name, but Neil didn’t need it. He had seen too many newspapers with his face on it not to know. He could see that Alex recognised him too. Andrew Minyard didn’t look like much in person, blond and five feet even, but Neil knew better. Andrew was the Foxes’ freshman goalkeeper and their deadliest investment.</p><p>Andrew was famous for being the first and only person ever to turn down the Edgar Allen Ravens, but nobody could figure out the reasoning behind it, especially when he instead joined the dead-last Foxes. It was presumed that it was because Wymack would sign his brother and cousin too, but whatever the reason was, people blamed Andrew for Kevin’s transfer to Palmetto after he broke his hand. </p><p>Andrew smiled over at Neil and tapped two fingers to his temple in salute. “Better luck next time.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Alex said. “Don’t talk to him.”</p><p>“Oh, so are you the one in charge? Makes sense. Someone’s gotta keep a leash on him if he runs from all his problems like this.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, you don’t know anything about us.” </p><p>“Neil,” Hernandez said, catching Neil’s eye as he disentangled himself from his brother’s arms. “Jesus are you alright?”</p><p>“Andrew’s a bit raw on manners.” Wymack said, moving to stand in between the brothers and Andrew. Andrew took it for what it was and stepped back, throwing his hands up in an exaggerated shrug as he dropped the racquet onto the floor. </p><p>“I can see that,” Neil replied.</p><p>“He break anything?”</p><p>Neil shook his head. “Alex checked. I’m fine. Coach, we’re leaving.”</p><p> “Neil—”</p><p>“Alex we can’t,” Neil said in quiet Polish. “No matter how much we want to. They’ve got Kevin on that team and I can’t risk him recognising me. You know more about the you-know-whos than I do but we can’t risk it, not after all the running we’ve done.”</p><p>“You’re eight years older and look completely different Neil, there’s no way he knows who you are. And <em>they</em> won’t pay attention to us if we keep our heads down. No one cares about what the Foxes do, they’re a bunch of nobodies and we are too.”</p><p>“Alex no.”</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt,” Wymack interjected, but he didn’t look at all sorry, “but I really need an answer, and for that answer to be yes.”</p><p>“I already gave you my answer,” said Neil. “I won’t sign with you. Neither will Alex.”</p><p>“Coach Wymack,” Hernandez started.</p><p>Wymack didn’t let him finish. “Give us a second?”</p><p>He waited until Hernandez left before continuing. “You didn’t listen to my whole offer. If I paid three to fly three people out here to see you both the least you could do is give me five minutes, don’t you think?”</p><p>All Neil could do was stare at him in shock. “You didn’t bring him here.” Time to put Alex’s theory to the test, no matter how much Neil really didn’t want to know the result. Everything they’d run from would be a complete waste if they were found here. </p><p>“Is that going to be a problem?”</p><p>“I can’t play on the same court as a champion.”</p><p>“True, but irrelevant,” a new voice said, and Neil stopped breathing.</p><p>He turned around, trying to draw out the inevitable for as long as possible. Alex didn’t have the same problem. He had never met Kevin and didn’t have the same threat of being recognised. “Holy shit.” Alex couldn’t help being starstruck. </p><p>Neil couldn’t afford the same liberty. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Why were you leaving?” Kevin asked.</p><p>“I asked first.” Alex rolled his eyes at Neil’s attitude. </p><p>“Coach already answered that question,” Kevin said, his impatience clear. “We are waiting for you to sign the contract. Stop wasting our time.”</p><p>“No,” Neil said. “There are a thousand other strikers and players that would love to join your team. Go bother them instead. We’ve already said no, just leave us alone.”</p><p>“We saw their files,” Wymack said. “We chose you. And maybe you haven’t noticed, but we’re not leaving until either or both of you say yes. Kevin says we have to have you, and he’s right.”</p><p>“We should have thrown away your coach’s letter the moment we opened it. Your stats are abysmal and the fact you’ve both only played for a year is not ideal. Even though he said you practice until late every night, your inexperience is problematic. It completely goes against everything the Foxes need this year. Fortunately for you two, your coach sent a video tape of you playing. You play like you have everything to lose.”</p><p>Their inexperience.</p><p>If Kevin remembered him, he would know that Neil’s file was a lie. He’d know about how he played backliner in the little leagues, and he would remember the scrimmage interrupted by that man’s murder.</p><p>Neil looked at Alex, the relief clear in his eyes. Kevin didn’t recognise him, and this was just a horrible coincidence. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to accept the offer. Neil could tell that Alex was itching for Neil to hurry up and say yes.</p><p>“It actually works in our favour that you’re all the way out here,” Wymack said. “No one outside of our team and school board even knows we’re here. We don’t want to deal with right now and we don’t want to drag you into the mess until you’re both safe and settled at campus. There’s a confidentiality clause in your contract, says you can’t tell you’re ours until the season starts in August.”</p><p>Neil looked between Kevin, Wymack and Alex, trying to make his mind up, the ‘yes’ on the tip of his tongue. It would be a lot smarter to run again. It was a terrible idea even if Kevin couldn’t recognise him. The Foxes spent a lot of time in the sports news, and once the season began, Neil and Alex would be thrown straight into the spotlight. It wouldn’t take long for the right person to see them and make a connection, especially if Kevin started to remember things. Having Alex would make it harder to connect any dots, since the only people that truly knew of his existence were the Hatfords. But even then, he could be played off as irrelevant.</p><p>Neil didn’t know how to be a part of anything. He would never be able to get close to the team, or share childhood experiences, because then he would feel settled, and that was dangerous. The only constant in his life had been dead for over a year, and the one person he had left was willing to give up the life on the run for this opportunity. Neil didn’t know if he was ready to make that kind of commitment. He couldn’t make himself stay for the few years a scholarship would give him, but he if he didn’t make any attachments he could stay for a little while.</p><p>He didn’t know if he was ready to give up Exy again, after picking it up again. He’d had a small taste of it in Millport, but it was the only thing that made him feel real. It didn’t matter that his mom was dead, or that he and Alex were still on the run, the rest of the world washed away whenever he was on the court. </p><p>“Well?” Wymack asked.</p><p>“We have to talk to our mother.” Neil said, because he didn’t know what else to say.</p><p>“What for? You’re both legal, aren’t you? Your files say you’re nineteen.”</p><p>They were eighteen, but he wasn’t going to contradict what the paperwork said. “We still need to ask.”</p><p>“She’ll be happy for you.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Neil agreed quietly, knowing it was a lie. If she had still been alive, she would have been furious. “I’ll talk to her tonight.”</p><p>“We can give you both a lift home.”</p><p>“We’re fine.”</p><p>Wymack looked at his Foxes. “Go wait in the car.”</p><p>Kevin took the files he had and walked off with Andrew close behind. Wymack waited until they had left before turning a serious look on the twins.</p><p>“You need one of us to talk to your parents?”</p><p>“We’re fine,” Alex said.</p><p>Wymack didn’t even attempt to be subtle with his next question. “Are they the ones who hurt you?”</p><p>The question was blunt enough for Neil to be at a complete loss. Luckily, Alex saved him the trouble of answering.</p><p>“Are they what?” </p><p>“I’m asking because Coach Hernandez thinks there’s something going on since neither of you will change out with the others or let anyone meet your parents. You know what kind of people I recruit, that’s why he sent me your files.<br/>
I don’t know if he’s right,” he said, “but something tells me he’s not far off. Either way, if they’re going to be a problem for you, we can move you to South Carolina once the school year ends.”</p><p>“You can do what?” Alex asked, surprised.</p><p>“Andrew and his lot stay in town in the summer. They stay with our team nurse Abby so Kevin can practice whenever he wants. Hers is full but if you want you two can stay with me until the dorms open in June. I’ve got a couch and an air mattress that can be used.</p><p>I’ll tell everyone you’re there for some early practice. Since you’ve only been playing for a year it’ll be believable, and even so, you can always practice then anyway to be at your best when the team comes.”</p><p>Wymack paused. “So, are your parents going to be a problem?”</p><p> Alex nodded, and after a second Neil did too.</p><p>Neil could see the tired look that crossed Wymack’s face and had to look away.<br/>
“We’ll have someone pick you two up from Upstate Regional Airport the day after your graduation. Keep the papers tonight,” he said, and passed his folder to Alex. “Your coach can fax the signed copies to me on Monday. Welcome to the line.”</p><p>Alex managed a small smile and said, “Thank you.” </p><p>“No problem kid,” Wymack reached out and put his hand on Alex’s shoulder before leaving. “Stay safe, both of you.”</p><p>Neil couldn’t help but stare after him as he left and went back to the main room.<br/>
“What the fuck. What the fuck did we just do? Oh my god, oh fuck.” He ran to the bathroom just in time to dry-heave into a toilet. </p><p>He could imagine his mother’s rage if she knew what they had done. Alex had never been treated in the same way, but Neil remembered all too well the savage yank of her hands in his hair. All the years spent running, and now he was going to destroy their hard work and go out of hiding. She would never forgive him.</p><p>“I’m sorry mom,” he gasped out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Neil.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Neil. She isn’t here. We’ll be fine. We always have been.”</p><p>Neil stared weakly up at his brother. “How do you know that for sure? Can you honestly tell me that nothing bad will happen to us?”</p><p>“No, but we’ll be living, even if it’s just for a little bit, even if we leave after a year, even if we get found. We can’t keep moving and hiding for the rest if our lives, you know that.” Alex made a good point, but it still hurt to admit it.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Good,” Alex said. He helped Neil back onto his feet, minding the ribs that Andrew had whacked into earlier. He unzipped his duffel bag enough to put Wymack’s paperwork away and stepped away from Neil. “C’mon let’s get back before they wonder what we’re doing.”</p><p>Together they returned to the main room, the two coaches waiting on them. Neil said nothing to them, but as they went past them to the door, Alex looked back and said, “Bye Coach, we’ll see you Monday. I’ll sign, Neil will too. Thanks.”</p><p>They left and passed Andrew sitting in the backseat of Hernandez’s SUV. He rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette, giving the twins a knowing, taunting smile. “Too good to play with us, too good to ride with us?”</p><p>Neil flicked him a cool look and Alex rolled his eyes and they left the parking lot, with the unsigned contracts and a flicker of hope between them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Neil and Alex meet the cousins.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i am not american so i can barely bring myself to type 'mom', so if there are words spelt 'wrong' that's because im scottish.<br/>also yes i know im basically using all the same lines from the book but whatever<br/>this is a much longer chapter than last btw</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil lost count of how many airports he’d been to somewhere after his twelfth birthday. It didn’t matter, in the end, he would always feel uneasy as soon as he stepped foot in one. The ingrained distrust of authority and flying with fake documents was a combination that never failed to terrify him. His mother’s connections were excellent, so he knew what he and Alex had were good, but that his heart beat that little bit faster every time he handed his papers over to be checked.</p><p>Neither of them had been through Sky Harbour or Upstate Regional, but the setting was not unfamiliar. Businessmen and women rushing around, families trying to keep their screaming children close, students on their phones as they waited for their flights home.</p><p>They followed the signs to the lobby marked ‘Arrivals’, unsure of who Coach Wymack had sent to pick them up. It didn’t take long to notice one of the Minyards, and judging by the lack of manic smile, Neil bet it was Aaron. </p><p>Aaron Minyard was usually known as “the normal one” of the two, though that was usually followed by a debate over whether or not he could be sane when he shared the same genes as Andrew.</p><p>Neil followed Alex across the room to meet him. Neil had been the shortest player on the Millport Dingo line, but he had a good few inches on Aaron, and Alex had even more. The all-black ensemble Aaron wore did nothing to make him look taller, and Neil wondered how he could stand wearing black and long-sleeves in the South Carolina heat. Neil felt hot just looking at him, though he should’ve been used to it. Alex had always fared better in the heat than him, with Neil’s paler skin giving him a lower tolerance to the sun.</p><p>“Neil. Alex,” Aaron said in the place of a hello, and he pointed. “Baggage claim?”</p><p>“Just this.” Alex tapped the strap of his duffel bag. Their bags were small enough to be let on as carry-ons, but large enough to hold all of their belongings. Neil knew that it bothered Alex how little they were allowed to have and tried to bend their mother’s rules so he could be more content with what he carried. His fashion sense was a million times better than Neil’s, mostly because he had had more freedom as a child, growing up with the Hatfords in London, and because he cared more about his looks. Mary forcing him to dress shabbily never sat well with him, and as soon as she died, Alex had replaced all his clothes with better ones. </p><p>Aaron accepted that without comment and started away. Neil followed him, walking alongside his brother through the sliding glass doors into the muggy summer afternoon. A small crowd was waiting at the zebra crossing for the light to change, but Aaron pushed right though them. Brakes screeched as a taxi slammed to a stop inches from Aaron’s pint-sized body. Aaron didn’t seem to notice, putting more interest into lighting a cigarette putting it between his lips. He paid even less attention to the rude words from the cab driver, so Alex made an apologetic gesture and hurried on to catch up.</p><p>A sleek, black, and obviously expensive car was parked six rows back in the short-term parking garage. Neil didn’t know much about cars, but Alex did and he had to stop for a minute, just to admire it. “Neil holy shit why can’t I get a car like that?”</p><p>“Because a) you don’t have the money and b) you failed your driving test?”</p><p> “That’s besides the point,” Alex said. </p><p>Aaron unlocked the car with a button on his key chain. </p><p>“Bags in the trunk,” he said, opening the driver’s door and sitting sideways in the seat to smoke the rest of his cigarette. </p><p>Neil and Alex obediently put their duffels in the back, pausing to have a conversation in Polish. Since not many people spoke it, they used it to communicate when surrounded by other people. It wasn’t as common as Spanish, French, or German, so it was their preferred language. </p><p>“So, what we thinking?” Alex said. “Is this Aaron, or is Andrew off his drugs?”</p><p>“You think he would risk the jail time just to meet us?” asked Neil.</p><p>“Unlikely, especially if what the articles say is true about how aggressively protective he is of his family.”</p><p>“Okay. You wanna to sit up front with him?”</p><p>“Obviously,” Alex said, before climbing into the passenger seat.  </p><p>Aaron didn’t go anywhere until he finished smoking. He flicked the butt onto the concrete at his feet and tugged the door closed. A twist of the key in the ignition got the engine humming, and Neil could see the slight smile that graced his brother’s face. </p><p>“Neil and Alex Josten,” Aaron said again, as if testing the way it sounded. “Here for the summer, hm?”</p><p>“Yes,” Alex replied.  </p><p>Aaron turned the air con up as high as possible and put the car in reverse. “That makes six of us, but word is you two will be staying with Coach.”</p><p>Coach Wymack had warned Neil the cousins Andrew, Aaron, and Nicholas Hemmick would be staying with the team nurse, but it still didn’t add up. Neil knew who that sixth person would had to be, but that didn’t mean he liked it. Kevin had been glued to Andrew’s side since his transfer, and if Kevin were around there would be more chances for Neil to be recognised. </p><p>“Kevin stays on campus?” Alex asked.</p><p>“Where the court is, Kevin is. He can’t exist without it,” Aaron said derisively.</p><p>“Hear that Neil?” said Alex, catching Neil’s eye in as he turned his head slightly. “There’s someone more obsessed with the sport than you.”</p><p>Aaron snorted. “Doubt it. Kevin Day lives and breathes Exy. It’s annoying.”</p><p>“Well he’s an Exy champion, it would be crazy if he wasn’t obsessed with it,” Neil responded.</p><p>Aaron didn’t say anything else. It was a short drive to the carpark’s exit and Aaron had money ready for the lady at the booth. As soon as the bar lifted to let them out, he stepped down on the accelerator. A horn sounded at them in warning as they cut right into the traffic and Neil tightened his grip on the seatbelt. When they were on the road, Aaron flicked Neil a look through the rear-view mirror.</p><p>“I hear you didn’t hit it off with Kevin last month.”</p><p>“No one warned me he was going to be there,” Neil answered, watching the scenery rush by outside the window. He’d never been to South Carolina before, and neither had Alex, so if the whole playing Exy thing didn’t work out, they could at least add another state to their growing list. “Maybe you’ll forgive me for not reacting well.” </p><p>“Maybe I won’t. I don’t believe in forgiveness, and it wasn’t me you offended. That’s the second time a recruit has told him to fuck off, and this time it was both of you. If it was possible to dent that arrogance of his, his pride would have shreds through it. Instead he’s losing faith in the intelligence of high school athletes.”</p><p>“I’m sure Andrew had his reasons for refusing the Ravens, same as we do now.”</p><p>“You said neither of you weren’t good enough, but here you both are anyway. You think a summer of practices will make that much of a difference?”</p><p>“No,” Alex said, “but it’s worth a shot isn’t it?”</p><p>“Blind optimism won’t help you, it makes it harder on the rest of us, though. Not even Millport should have taken a chance on you.”</p><p>Alex shrugged. “Millport’s too small to care about experience. We had nothing to lose by trying out and they had nothing to gain by refusing two potential players. It was a matter of being in the right place at the right time, I guess.”</p><p>“Do either of you believe in fate?”</p><p>Neil heard the faint scorn in the other man’s voice. “No. Do you?”</p><p>“Luck, then,” Aaron replied, ignoring Neil’s return question.</p><p>“Only the bad sort.”</p><p>“We’re flattered by your high opinion of us, of course.”</p><p>Aaron pulled at the wheel, sliding the car from one lane to the other without bothering to check the traffic around him. Horns blared behind them. Neil twisted round and watched as cars swerved to avoid hitting them. </p><p>“It’s too nice of a car to wreck,” Alex said pointedly. Of course that was what he cared about, rather than the risk of injury to themselves or other people. </p><p>“Don’t be so afraid to die,” Aaron said as the car kept gliding across the four-lane road to a exit ramp. “If you are, you have no place on our court.”</p><p>“I’m not scared of dying, not really. Plus, we’re talking about a sport, not a gladiator pit.”</p><p>“Same difference,” Aaron said. “You’re playing for a Class I team with Kevin on your line. People are always willing to bleed for him. You’ve seen the news, I assume.”</p><p>“I’ve seen it,” Alex said. </p><p>Aaron flicked his fingers as if that proved his point. Neil agreed with him, only because he knew what all about media nightmares. When Kevin had left the Ravens after a skiing accident broke his hand and went to the South Carolina, the press wouldn’t stop talking about it. Neil had countless articles in his ‘stalker binder’ as Alex called it – Neil wouldn’t have labelled it as such but it was kind of true. There were hundreds of newspaper clippings focusing on the Exy headlines, and recently there had been many surrounding Kevin’s accident, and just recently, the revelation that he would be returning as a starting striker on the Foxes line-up. </p><p>Everyone had questioned him about the decision to even go down south, but Kevin explained that Wymack had been friends with Kayleigh Day and that made his decision easier. Kevin’s obsessive fans went from heartbroken to feeling betrayed once he declared his return to the court, but as a Fox instead of a Raven. Palmetto State had endured the most of their rage since. The university and stadium had been vandalised upwards of a dozen times and there had been numerous fights on campus. It would only get worse when the season started and people saw Kevin wearing the Foxes’ colours. Neil wasn’t looking forward to getting in the middle of that mess, and he knew Alex wasn’t either. </p><p>The apartment complex where Wymack lived was a twenty-minute drive from the airport. The carpark was mostly empty, since it was mid-afternoon on a workday, but there were three people waiting on the pavement. Aaron was the first out and he aimed the key ring at the back of the car. Neil heard locks pop as he climbed out of the car. Aaron went to meet the others at the kerb while Neil and Alex retrieved their duffel bags from the trunk. Neil slung his bag over his shoulder, relaxing a little at the familiar weight of it, and closed the trunk behind him. When he looked up, he and Alex were the centre of attention. </p><p>The blond twins were standing to either side of Kevin. They were dressed identically, but easily distinguishable by the looks on their faces. Aaron looked bored that he’d fulfilled his duty in getting Neil and Alex there. Andrew was smiling but that didn’t mean anything. He’d been smiling when he smashed a racquet into Neil’s stomach, too. </p><p>Nicholas Hemmick was the only one who looked genuinely happy to see Alex and Neil, and he stepped up to the kerb at their approach. Neil was glad for the distraction, since it kept him from staring at Kevin, and he accepted the hand Nicholas offered. </p><p>“Hey,” the other man said, going on to pull Neil up on the kerb. “Welcome to South Carolina. Flight go okay?”</p><p>“It was fine,” Neil said.</p><p>“I’m Nicky.” Nicky gave Neil’s hand another hard squeeze before letting go. “Andrew and Aaron’s cousin, backliner extraordinaire.”</p><p> Alex stepped up onto the kerb. “I’m Alex, he’s Neil.” </p><p>Neil looked from Nicky to the twins and back again. Where the twins were pale with light blond hair, Nicky had jet-black hair, dark brown eyes, and skin two shades too dark to be a tan. The difference between them wasn’t dissimilar to the contrast between Neil and Alex’s natural looks, but they had at least dyed their hair to be the same darkish brown. Alex’s skin was barely lighter than Nicky’s whereas Neil was an almost unhealthy shade of white. Nicky was also a foot taller than the cousins, but Neil knew all about blood relatives looking totally different. He had to check though. “By blood?”</p><p>Nicky laughed. “Don’t look it right? But I’m told you two are twins, so I’m sure you can relate. I take after my mom. Dad ‘rescued’ her from Mexico during some la-di-dah ministry trip.” He made a show of rolling his eyes. “You’ve already met them, right? Aaron, Andrew, Kevin? Coach had to head up to the stadium real quick. The ERC called him, probably more BS about how we haven’t publicised our subs yet. In the meantime, you’re stuck with us, but we’ve got Coach’s keys. Suitcases in the trunk?”</p><p>“It’s just this,” Neil said.</p><p>Nicky arched an eyebrow at him and looked at the others. “They pack light. I wish I could travel like that, but hell if I ain’t materialistic.”</p><p>Alex snorted. “Oh I’m materialistic all right, but Mom said I could only take this bag and had to fit everything in it. Neil just doesn’t care. Hey that reminds me, you guys got a mall somewhere around here?”</p><p>“Nah, closest good one is in Columbia. I can take you sometime if you want.”</p><p>“Sure, that’d be great, thanks Nicky.”</p><p>Nicky grinned and caught Alex’s shoulder, guiding him past the rest toward the front door. “This is where Coach lives,” he said unnecessarily. “He makes all the money, so he gets to live in a place like this while we poor people couch surf.”</p><p>“You have a nice car for someone who thinks he’s poor. I mean, a GS? They’re crazy expensive.”</p><p>“That’s why we’re poor,” Nicky said dryly. </p><p>“Aaron’s mother bought it for us with her life insurance money,” Andrew explained. “It’s no surprise she had to die to be worth anything.”</p><p>“Easy,” Nicky said, but he was looking at Aaron when he said it.</p><p>“Easy, easy,” Andrew lifted his hands in a careless shrug. “Why bother? It’s a cruel world, right? You two wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.”</p><p>“Its not the world that’s cruel,” Neil said. “It’s the people in it.”</p><p>“Oh, so true.”</p><p>They rode the elevator up to the seventh floor in silence. Neil watched the numbers tick above the door so he wouldn’t look at Kevin’s reflection. Unease over being so high off the ground was almost distraction enough. He preferred staying to lower levels so he could make a quick escape if necessary. Jumping out the window here was out of the question. He made a mental note to find any and all fire escapes. </p><p>Wymack’s apartment was number 724. They gathered around the door so Aaron could dig the key out of his pocket. It took him two tries to remember which one he’d put it in. Neil didn’t notice when he found it and unlocked the door. He was too busy staring at Aaron’s back pockets. They were much too flat to be hiding a pack of cigarettes, but Neil had seen Aaron put the pack away before crossing the street at the airport. </p><p>Alex nudged his side. “Why are you staring at Aaron’s ass?” he murmured in Polish. </p><p>“No cigarettes in his back pockets.”</p><p>Alex hummed, mulling the information over.</p><p>“Here you go guys,” Nicky said, and Neil forced his gaze up to the open doorway. Nicky gestured for him and Alex to precede them. “Home sweet home, if anything involving Coach can be called sweet.”</p><p>Neil had known since April that he and Alex would be staying with Coach Wymack for a few weeks until the dorms opened. He’d known that it would probably be uncomfortable. Wymack had said that it was an apartment meant for one person, so three people living there wouldn’t be the nicest environment. But Neil still wasn’t prepared for the way his stomach roiled inside him now. He’d only had Alex with him since their mother died, and the last time he’d lived with an older man was his father. How was he supposed to let Wymack lock the door every night with both of them under the same roof? He couldn’t possibly sleep here; every time Wymack breathed Neil would wake up and wonder who was after him. It wasn’t the same as with Alex because the twins had learnt how to recognise the difference between the other’s breathing and a stranger’s. Alex also didn’t have that ingrained fear of older men, having grown up free of their father’s influence. </p><p>Neil hadn’t expected to lock up like this, and he’d hesitated too long. He saw the look Nicky sent Aaron, curious and confused, and knew he’d made a mistake. Still, it wasn’t until Alex knocked into him that Neil could move again. </p><p>Neil stepped over the threshold and started down the hall. The first doorway opened into the living room Neil and Alex would be sleeping in. The couch Wymack had referenced was cleared off and in front of it was a small air mattress which had a sticky note tacked to it saying that the blankets were in the coffee table drawer. Everything else was completely covered in papers and mugs with varying amounts of coffee still in them. Overflowing ashtrays were in unhealthy abundance as well. </p><p>Neil was halfway across the room to look out the window when Nicky spoke up behind him. </p><p>“What was that all about?”</p><p>Neil stiffened. It wasn’t the words that turned his blood to slush but the German that Nicky used. It was Neil’s second language and Alex’s third thanks to three years spent living in Austria, Germany, and Switzerland. He remembered more of Europe than he wanted to; most of their time there had been a cold mess. He knew the tang of blood in his mouth was just his imagination, but it was sharp enough to choke him. He could feel the his heartbeat on every inch of his skin, going so fast it set him trembling head to toe. </p><p>How did they know they spoke German?</p><p>Neil was considering running, but then Aaron answered, and Neil realised with a sick rush Nicky wasn’t talking to him. No, they were talking about him, not knowing that he could understand. Neil forced himself to move, finishing his trip to the window. Alex followed, pushed the curtains back and then elbowed him lightly. He caught Neil’s eye, and raised an eyebrow. Neil glared back. </p><p>“Maybe he was savouring the moment,” Aaron said.</p><p>“No,” Nicky said. “That was pure fight or flight.” </p><p>When Neil looked back at them Nicky gave a bright smile, switching back to English. “How about a tour?”</p><p>“Sure,” Alex said.</p><p>There wasn’t much to look at. A bathroom and kitchen sat opposite each other, and the bedrooms were at the end of the hall. Wymack had converted the second bedroom into an office. The office made up for the bare living room walls: it was totally covered with newspaper articles, team photos, outdated calendars, and miscellaneous certificates. Two bookshelves lined the wall, one full of Exy books, the other a mishmash of everything of everything from travel guides to classic literature. Wymack’s desk was buried in paperwork, so much so that Neil couldn’t see the wood underneath. Alex’s file was on top, the corner of it held down by a hefty prescription bottle. Nicky scooped the bottle up with a triumphant sound and twisted the lid off. </p><p>“That’s not yours,” Neil said.</p><p>“Painkillers,” Nicky said, ignoring the accusation. “Coach shattered his hip a few years back, you know? That’s how he met Abby. She was his therapist, and he got her the job here. Team’s split fifty-fifty on whether or not they’re boning. Andrew refuses to vote, so either of you could be the tiebreaker. Let us know ASAP. I’ve got money riding on it.”</p><p> He shook a couple of pills into his hand, screwed the lid back on and returned the bottle on top of the file. Neil looked to see what the others thought of his, but Andrew and Kevin had vanished. Only Aaron and Alex remained, and they didn’t look at all concerned.</p><p>“You’ll meet Abby tonight at dinner,” Nicky said, stuffing the pills into his pocket. “We’ve got a couple hours to kill before then, so maybe we can take you by the court and let you gawk at it. We’ve got enough for scrimmages now. Kevin’s probably pissing himself in excitement.”</p><p>“I doubt that,” Neil said, thinking of Kevin’s impassive expression downstairs.</p><p>“Kevin doesn’t do excited,” Aaron agreed, “but since Exy is the only thing he cares about, no one wants you on the court more than he does.”</p><p>Neil processed that bit of information. It was almost the same as what Aaron had said earlier in the car, only now he sounded more apathetic about it rather than downright disparaging. Between the abrupt change in attitude, the vanishing pack of cigarettes, and the matching outfits, Neil was getting more suspicious of what was going on. He could see it on Alex’s face that he was too. It was just small things, but with Neil’s runaway survival instincts, and Alex being raised with the British mob, they were more observant than most.</p><p>“Isn’t it difficult playing with him?” Alex asked. “I mean, with him being a champion?”</p><p>“Technically we haven’t played with him yet,” Nicky said. “He just started working on drills with us last month, but if he’s anything like he was as our assistant coach, you two are going to have the most awful year ever.” Despite his ominous words, Neil could hear the amusement in Nicky’s tone. “But he’s worth it.”</p><p>“Worth the fights, too?” Alex asked. “Like that one two weeks ago that Aaron said got completely out of hand. How many people got injured in that again?” </p><p>Neil saw what Alex was doing and mentally applauded him. The sooner they got to the bottom of it, the better. </p><p>“Eleven,” answered Aaron, after a slight pause.</p><p>It was correct, but they hadn’t talked about it in the car and Aaron should’ve known that. Neil was annoyed by the trick but relieved that he and Alex had seen through it. He couldn’t get his head around why Andrew would risk sobriety when he could go to jail for it. He wondered if their arrival had something to do with it, and if Andrew wanted to meet them without being drugged up, or if he just wanted to spend the summer without a clouded mind.</p><p>As if on cue, Andrew materialised in the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and Kevin at his back. “Success.”</p><p>“Ready, guys?” Nicky asked. “We should probably beat it before Coach shows up.”</p><p>“Why?” Alex pointed at the liquor. “Is this a robbery in progress?”</p><p>“Maybe it is. Will you tell Coach on us?” Andrew asked, sounding entertained at the very notion. “So much for being a team player. I guess you really are a Fox.”</p><p>“No,” Neil said, “but I would ask him why you’re not medicated.”</p><p>There was a second of startled silence. The only one who didn’t react was Andrew; even Alex was surprised by Neil’s boldness. </p><p>Nicky was the first to find his tongue, but he changed to German to ask Aaron, “Am I crazy? Did I just see that happen?”</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Aaron said.</p><p>“I’d prefer an answer in English,” Neil said.</p><p>Andrew ran his thumb along his lips, erasing his smile. “That sounds like an accusation, but I didn’t lie to you.”</p><p>“Omission is the easiest way to lie,” Alex said. “You could have corrected us.”</p><p>“Could have, didn’t,” Andrew said. “Figure it out for yourselves.”</p><p>“We did,” Neil said. He tapped two fingers to his temple, copying Andrew’s mocking salute from their first meeting. “Better luck next time.”</p><p>“Oh,” Andrew said. “Oh, you might actually turn out to be interesting. For a little while, at least. I don’t think the amusement will last. It never does.”</p><p>“Don’t mess with us.”</p><p>“Or what?”</p><p>There was a rattle at the front door as someone tested the doorknob. Andrew’s smile was back in a heartbeat, bright and vacant. He turned to Kevin, and Kevin moved at the same time, The whiskey vanished somewhere between them in a practiced move. </p><p>“Hi Coach,” Andrew called over his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how much I hate coming home and finding you lot here? Wymack demanded from out of sight.</p><p>Andrew held up his empty hands in an innocent gesture no one believed and stepped into the hallway. Aaron and Kevin went after him, presumably with the alcohol tucked between their bodies, and left Nicky, Neil, and Alex in the office.</p><p>“I didn’t break anything this time,” Andrew said.</p><p>“I’ll believe that after I’ve checked everything I own.” The door slammed down the hall and it wasn’t long before Coach stepped into his office doorway. Clad in jean shorts and a faded t-shirt, Wymack looked more like a garage band rocker than a university sports coach.</p><p>Wymack gave Neil and Alex a once-over and nodded. “I see you two made it all right. I was pretty sure Nicky’s driving was going to get you killed.”</p><p>Neil felt Nicky’s eyes on him and said, “I’ve survived worse.” He shot a look at Alex, who grinned back.</p><p>Nicky noticed. “There’s a story there,” he said. </p><p>“Let’s just say there is a reason Alex doesn’t have a driver’s license.”</p><p>“There is no surviving worse than that idiot’s, I’m telling you,” Wymack said. “There’s just open casket or closed.”</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Nicky said. “That’s not fair.”</p><p>“Life isn’t fair, tweedle-dumb. Get over it. What are you still doing here?”</p><p>“Leaving,” Andrew said. “Are Neil and Alex coming too?”</p><p>“Going where?” Wymack asked, looking suspicious. </p><p>“Jeez, Coach, what kind of people do you think we are?” Nicky asked.</p><p>“Do you really want me to answer that?”</p><p>“We’re taking them to the court,” Aaron said. “We can give them a lift to Abby’s after. You didn’t need either of them, did you?”</p><p>“How are you gonna fit six people in Andrew’s car?” Wymack asked. </p><p>Nicky looked contemplative for a moment. “Neil’s pretty tiny, I’m sure we can squish four people in the backseat.”</p><p>No one looked convinced, but they didn’t say anything about it. </p><p>“Here take these,” Wymack said, and chucked two sets of keys to Neil, who passed one to Alex. There were two rings looped together, two keys on one, three on the other. “Long key is for when the front gate closes at night. Small one gets you into the apartment.  The others are for the stadium: outer door, gear room, and court doors. Kevin has a matching set, so make him show you which is which. I expect you to make as much use of them as he does.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Neil said, clenching his fingers tight enough around them that he could feel the teeth digging into his palm. With them in his hand he felt steadier; it didn’t matter where he was sleeping or what tricks Andrew was up to. Having his own set of keys meant he had explicit permission to be there, and to play on the court. “We will.”</p><p>“Blatant favouritism, Coach,” Andrew said.</p><p>“If you ever went to the court of your own volition, maybe I’d give you a set too,” Wymack said. “Since I don’t see that ever happening, you can shut up and share with Kevin.”</p><p>“Oh joy, joy,” Andrew said. “My excited face begins now. Can we go?”</p><p>“Get out,” Wymack said, and Andrew vanished. Kevin and Aaron followed. When Nicky reached the office doorway, Wymack put a hand in his path to stop him. “Don’t you dare traumatise them on their first day.”</p><p>Nicky looked from Wymack to Neil to Alex. “You’re not traumatised, right?”</p><p>“Not yet,” Alex said. Nicky laughed uncertainly. </p><p>After a moment, Alex shrugged his duffel bag off his shoulder. “Do you have someplace safe I can put this? Neil’s too.” </p><p>“There’s space in the living room,” Wymack said.</p><p>Neil glanced at Nicky, wondering what he could say that wouldn’t make the others curious enough to pry. Neil shuddered at the prospect of leaving his bag behind, but taking it to the court would be suspicious, and he didn’t want to be scrutinised any further. Mostly though, Neil didn’t trust Andrew or his intentions. Why pick him and Alex up from the airport if Wymack had told Nicky to do it? And why go sober? Until Neil figured it out, he bet that trusting Wymack more than Andrew was the better plan.  </p><p>Before he could say anything, Wymack gave Nicky an impatient look. “Why are you still here? Get out.”</p><p>“Rude,” Nicky said, but slipped past Wymack and disappeared down the hall. </p><p>Wymack looked at Neil and his brother. “How safe is safe?”</p><p>Neil thought about how much he wanted to reveal to Wymack. “It’s all I have,” he said. “Dunno about Alex.”</p><p>“Basically the same. Mom told me to pack everything essential to my survival, so I did,” Alex said.</p><p>Wymack motioned for Neil to get out of the way. Neil watched as he unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk. It was full of files but Wymack pulled them all out and dumped them onto the floor nearby. He didn’t seem to care as they fell and slid all over each other, too busy digging a tiny key off his keyring. </p><p>“This is only a temporary fix,” Wymack said. “When you move to the dorms, you’re going to have to figure something else. I don’t think it’ll fit both of your bags, so you’re going to have to work it out between you what goes in there.” </p><p>He held the key out and Alex took it. Neil tried to say something but couldn’t. Alex thanked Wymack but he waved it off. </p><p>“Better hurry before Andrew sends someone looking for you,” Wymack said.</p><p>Neil looked at his brother for a second and found him already watching. They silently agreed that since Neil had the binder with the money, emergency contact information, and Uncle Stuart’s encoded phone number, his bag would go into the drawer. Luckily the rest of his bag was just clothes, so it fit into the cramped space with a few shoves. Neil pushed the drawer shut and locked it. He put the key onto his set and glanced up at Wymack. </p><p>“Thank you,” he said. </p><p>“Move along,” Wymack said. </p><p>Neil left the office after Alex, who dropped his bag onto the air mattress, obviously calling dibs on it before Neil could even argue. The others had left the front door open and were waiting for them in the hallway. As Neil and Alex walked to meet them, Andrew led his family and Kevin to the elevator while Alex closed the door and locked it behind him. The elevator car arrived only seconds after Alex re-joined them, and the six of them piled inside. </p><p> Neil’s fleeting sense of safety vanished the second the doors closed behind him, because the others had arranged themselves in a ring around the walls of the elevator: Aaron beside him, Nicky beside Alex, and Andrew and Kevin opposite them. All eyes were on Alex and Neil. </p><p>Andrew’s smile vanished when the elevator started its slow crawl down. Neil returned his stare, every muscle tensed for a fight. Andrew didn’t do anything except stare him down, and Neil would be lying if he said it wasn’t slightly intimidating, especially with how short Andrew was. </p><p>“How nice to meet you both,” Andrew drawled. “It will be a while before we see each other again.”</p><p>“Somehow I don’t think we’re that lucky,” said Alex. </p><p>“Like this,” Andrew clarified, gesturing between his face and theirs. “It will have to wait until June. Abby threatened to revoke our stadium rights for the summer if we break you sooner than that. Can’t have that, can we? Kevin would cry. No worries. We’ll wait until everyone’s here and Abby has too many other Foxes to worry about. Then we’ll throw you a welcome party you won’t forget.”</p><p>“Well I haven’t been to a good party since sophomore year, so we’ll see,” Alex said.</p><p>“Oh, I never said it would be good. But who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it, maybe you won’t. That all depends on you.”</p><p>“That is usually how it works yes.”</p><p>Neil flicked a glance at his brother, wondering what on earth he was doing, and saw Nicky stifling a laugh. </p><p>“I like him already,” Nicky said. </p><p>Andrew looked murderous and as if he couldn’t decide whether to target Alex or Nicky first. Neil could see that the amusement on Alex’s face, like he knew exactly what he was doing. It didn’t bode well for them to get on Andrew’s bad side. </p><p>The doors slid open behind Neil. As soon as they’d parted enough, Andrew gave Alex a small push. Alex tripped backwards into the lobby. Andrew shoved past him, bumping him from shoulder to hip, and headed for the door. Kevin was a half-step behind him, and Aaron didn’t even look at Alex on his way by. Only Nicky stayed behind long enough to smile at the twins. </p><p>“Ready for this?” he asked, and went on ahead. Alex smiled slightly at Neil before catching up with Nicky ad walking alongside him. </p><p>Neil remained behind for a few seconds longer to stare at their backs. He was starting to realise that Kevin wouldn’t be his only problem at Palmetto State. Andrew was unpredictable and known to be violent, and Neil didn’t want that to be aimed at Alex. Neil was going to have to ‘lecture’ his brother about not provoking psychotic midgets into a fight. </p><p>Neil shook himself out of his thoughts and started after his teammates and brother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>also if ur interested, neil and alex are biracial, because i love the hc that the hatfords have pakistani blood. i've been projecting onto my writing nd ocs a lot. i also made it so the twins look quite different from each other because exploring biracial siblings that look different is a fun hobby lmao</p><p>-for example: i am half white slovak from my mum, and quarter pakistani/afghani, quarter (north) indian from my dad. my facial features are more pakistani/afghani than not, and i have pretty pale skin, dark brown almost black hair, hazel eyes. so while i consider myself multi-ethnic, i am white-passing so you wouldn't know that about me if you saw me on the street.<br/>-my younger sister nina however, she's got like a "white girl face", so western facial features. however, her skin is considerably darker than mine. because we live in the back end of nowhere in scotland, people compliment her on her 'tan' a lot because they are uneducated lmao no hate, we joke about it a lot. nina has medium brown hair, dark brown eyes. when she was born actually, some of my mum's mongolian friends said that she looked like a mongolian baby because her eye shape, but now she's got like western eyes(???)<br/>-my younger brother alex, he literally just looks like a basic ass white boy literally you wouldn't even suspect he's multi-ethnic. pale skin, brown eyes, brown hair. </p><p>just thought i'd educate you if u decide to come at me like "uh if neil's half pakistani, how come he has pale skin?" well this is why i can do that because i am proof it’s possible. also, it is an actual whole issue, like skin colour within asians. e.g. generally light-skinned indians are treated better than dark-skinned ones. im pretty sure it’s the same in east asians and black americans too but dont @ me. or do comment and educate me if i am wrong because i like learning from my mistakes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi i've been trying to post every two days but i had a fucking headache yesterday so sorry.<br/>follow me on instagram or tumblr i guess @rikowhoreyama </p><p>this fic is essentially going to go through all three books, so i'll probably end up making it a three work series (with some extras maybe)</p><p>if u want some alex POV don't worry, there will be some later on</p><p>tw: mention of self harm scars ig</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil spotted the Foxhole Court long before they made it to the stadium parking lot. Built to seat sixty-five thousand fans, it had been placed on the outskirts of campus where it could tower over the shorter utilities buildings nearby. The paint job only made it stand out more: the walls were a blinding white with obnoxiously bright trim. A gigantic fox paw was painted on each of the four outer walls. Neil wondered how much it cost the university to build and how desperately they regretted the investment, considering the Foxes’ miserable playing results.</p><p>They passed four parking lots before turning into a fifth. There were a couple of cars parked there, probably for the maintenance staff or summer school students, but none were parked on the kerb closest to the stadium. The stadium itself was surrounded by a barbed wire fence. Gates were placed equidistant down the length of the fence for handling a game night crowd, and all of them were chained shut. </p><p>Neil went up to the fence and stared through it at the outer grounds. It was deserted now, the souvenir stands and food stalls boarded up until the season started again, but he could imagine what it’d look like in a couple months. It made every hair on his body stand on end, and his heartbeat echoing in his ears sounded like an Exy ball rebounding off a court wall.</p><p>Nicky clapped a hand to Alex’s shoulder. “All the orange grows on you,” he promised. </p><p>Alex laughed. “I seriously doubt that.”</p><p>Neil twisted his fingers through the metal links and wished he could break the fence down. “Let me in.”</p><p>“Come on,” Nicky said, and led them down the fence. </p><p>They’d reached the end of the gates – they’d parked by 24, and the next was 1. Between the two gates was a narrow door sealed with an electronic keypad. The door led to a hallway that cut the outer grounds in two; whoever made it as far as gate 24 would have to go into the stadium and through the stands to reach gate 1. The others were waiting for Nicky and the twins outside that door. Aaron had brought the whiskey with him. </p><p>“This is our entrance,” Nicky said. “Code changes every couple months, but Coach always lets us know when it does. Right now it’s 0508. May and August, get it? Coach and Abby’s birth months. Told you they were boning. When’re your birthdays, birthday, whatever?”</p><p>“March,” Alex lied. </p><p>“Oh we missed it. But we recruited you in April, so that should count as the world’s greatest present. What’d your girlfriends get you?”</p><p>Neil looked at him. “What?”</p><p>“Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend. Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out.”</p><p>Neil stared at him, wondering how Nicky could care about such things when the stadium was right there. They knew the code to get inside, but they were standing around like his answer was the secret password. Neil looked from Nicky to the keypad and back again. </p><p>“Doesn’t matter. Are we going in or not?” he asked. </p><p>In response, Kevin typed in the code and pulled the door open. “Go,” he said.</p><p>“C’mon, I’m curious,” Nicky said. </p><p>“He means nosy,” Aaron said. </p><p>“Neil doesn’t swing either way,” Alex said. “Genuinely.”</p><p>“Bullshit,” Nicky said. </p><p>“He’s right, I don’t,” Neil said, before going down the hall, turning the keyring over in his hands. The hall ended at another door marked FOXES. He showed keyring to Kevin in silent question. Kevin fingered the appropriate key. </p><p>It was strange sliding it into the knob and listening at the lock click undone. Neil could remember the last time he had held a set of keys: it was sometime when he and his mom were living in France before Alex had joined them. His mother had got them a dingy apartment in the middle of Lille while some paperwork was finalised, and she had given Neil – then Lucas – the key to hold. He’d grasped onto it for a few minutes, and then she’d taken it back. After that, there was nothing. Keys meant Neil had explicit permission to be here and do what he liked. They meant he belonged.</p><p>The first room was a lounge. Four chairs and two couches took up most of the space, forming a semi-circle around an entertainment centre. The TV was obscenely large, and Neil couldn’t wait to watch a game on it. Posted above the TV on the wall was a list of sports and news channels. </p><p>The rest of the walls were covered in photographs. Some of them were official: team photos, snapshots of the Foxes’ goals, and pictures obviously clipped from newspapers. These were similar to the sort that Neil had slotted into his binder. The majority of the pictures though, looked like they’d been taken by one of the Foxes themselves. They were scattered anywhere they could fit and held up by tape. Taking up one entire corner was a clump of photos featuring the Foxes’ three women.</p><p>Exy was a co-ed sport, due to Kayleigh Day and the fact that she had been the co-creator of the sport itself, but not many colleges wanted women on their lines. According to Fox lore, Palmetto State had refused to approve any of the women Wymack asked for his first year. After the Foxes’ train wreck first season, they were a little more willing to listen, and onto the team came three women. On top of that, Wymack made Danielle Wilds the first female captain in NCAA Class I Exy, and the first black captain as well. </p><p>If Exy fans weren’t kind to the Foxes, they were absolutely vile to Danielle. Even her teammates were willing to shred her in public during her first year. The more outspoken misogynists and racists blamed her for the Foxes’ failings. Despite the controversy, hate, and with only Wymack at her back, Danielle had managed to keep hold of her position. Three years later, it was obvious Wymack made the right choice The Foxes were still a mess, but they fell in behind Danielle and slowly started racking up wins. </p><p>Danielle was one of Alex’s favourite players. She was an excellent offensive dealer and her ability to get the Foxes into shape made her an inspiration. Back in Millport, he’d been watching some of her press interviews and he’d been teased for having a crush on her. Neil knew that it wasn’t like that for his brother, Danielle was just that memorable.</p><p>Neil’s mental picture of her was that of an aggressive and unrelenting woman, but the pictures he was looking at undermined that impression. Danielle was smiling in every photo, a toothy grin that was equal parts menace and mirth.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, Neil noticed that Alex was also admiring the pictures. It represented what they couldn’t have but desperately wanted. They wouldn’t be able to stay long enough to become close to any of these people and because attachments were dangerous, Neil and Alex would have to keep their distance from their teammates everywhere except the court. </p><p>Wherever they had gone, Alex was always complaining about not being allowed to make friends, so when they had come to Millport, he had reached out. After being there for a few weeks, he already had a small group of friends, who had begrudgingly let Neil sit with them when Alex had asked. It was weird for Neil – he hadn’t had a friend since he was eleven and he’d bonded with a boy in Liège. His mother had found out and she’d beaten him until he nearly passed out, screaming at him. Since then, he only talked to the people his teachers told him to work with, and that was it. </p><p>Nicky noticed them looking and tapped the faces in the closest photograph. “Dan, Renee, and Allison. Dan’s good people, but she’ll work you to the bone. Allison’s a catty bitch you should avoid at all costs. Renee’s a sweetheart. Be nice to her.”</p><p>“Or else?” Alex asked. “She’s got nice hair. She do it herself?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Nicky replied, shrugging. </p><p>“Let’s go,” Kevin said. </p><p>Neil followed him out of the lounge. A hallway led from the lounge past two office doors labelled DAVID WYMACK and ABIGAIL WINFIELD. A door with a simple red cross on it was next. Further down two doors opposite each other were marked LADIES and GENTLEMEN. Kevin pushed open the GENTLEMEN door a bit, showing Neil a quick glimpse of bright orange lockers, benches, and a tiled floor. Neil wanted to explore but Kevin wasn’t slowing down on his way down the hall. </p><p>The hall dead-ended at a large room Neil dimly recognised from news clips. It was the room that opened into the stadium and the only place where the press could meet the Foxes after games for interviews and photographs. Orange benches were set here and there, and the floor was white tile with orange paw prints. Orange cones were stacked in a corner, three deep and six high. A white door was on the wall to Neil’s right, and an orange door was opposite him. </p><p>“Welcome to the foyer,” Nicky said. “That’s what we call it anyway. By ‘we’ I mean whatever clever smartass preceded us.”</p><p>Andrew straddled one of the benches and dug a bottle of pills out of his pocket. Aaron handed Kevin the whiskey they’d taken from Wymack’s. Kevin brought it to Andrew, waited while Andrew shook a pill onto the bench in front of him, and traded him the whiskey for the pill bottle. The medicine disappeared into one of Kevin’s pockets, and Andrew swallowed the pill with an impressive swig of whiskey. </p><p>Kevin looked at Neil and Alex and gestured to the plain door across the room. “Gear closet.”</p><p>“Can we—?” Neil started.</p><p>Kevin didn’t let him finish. “Bring your keys.”</p><p>Neil met him at the orange door and let Kevin pick out the right key. On the other side of the doorway was just darkness. There wasn’t a ceiling, but Neil could see the walls rising up on either side. Neil followed Kevin into the shadows. Ten steps later he realised they must be in the stadium itself. </p><p>“You get to see the Foxhole Court looking its best,” Nicky said behind him. “We made enough money off Kevin’s presence we could get the floors refurbished and walls done. Cleanest this place has been since year one.”</p><p>Light from the locker room bled into the stadium, the path to the inner court was too long for it to be much help. The inner court was mostly inky shadows with vague outlines. Neil closed his eyes and tried to imagine it. This space was reserved for the referees, cheerleaders, and teams. Somewhere around here were the Foxes’ home benches. The plexiglass walls surrounding the court were invisible in the dark, as was the court itself, but knowing the court was there set Neil’s heart racing. </p><p>“Lights,” Aaron called from somewhere behind them. </p><p>Neil heard the hum of electricity before the lights came on, starting with emergency lights at his feet and cascading upwards. The stadium came to life before his eyes, row after row of alternating orange and white seats disappearing into sky-high rafters and the court lighting turned on, crossing the inner court to the court walls. He pressed his hands to the thick, cold plastic and looked up, where the scoreboards and replay TVs hung over the court’s ceiling, then down to the glossy wood. Orange lines marked first, half, and far court. It was perfect, utterly perfect, and Neil felt at once inspired and horrified by the sight of it. How could he possibly play here after playing on Millport’s pathetic knockoff court?</p><p>He closed his eyes and breathed in, breathed out, imagining the way the bodies sounded as they crashed into each other on the court, the way the announcer’s voice would come through in muffled, scattered bursts, the roar of sixty-five thousand people reacting to a goal. He didn’t deserve this, knew beyond a doubt he wasn’t good enough to play on this court, but he wanted and needed it so badly he ached all over.</p><p>For three and a half weeks, it would be just the six of them, but in June the Foxes would move in for summer practices and in August the season would begin. Neil opened his eyes again, looked at the court, and knew he and Alex had made the right decision. The risks didn’t matter; the consequences would be worth it. He had to be here. He had to play on this court at least once. He had to know if the crowd screamed loud enough to blow the roof off. He had to smell the sweat and overpriced stadium food. He needed to hear the buzzer sound as the ball slammed inside the white goal lines and lit the walls up red. </p><p>“Oh,” Nicky said, leaning against the wall a short way down from Neil. “No wonder he chose you.”</p><p>Neil looked at him, not really understanding the words, not really listening when his mind was still racing with the tick-tick-tock of a game clock counting down. Past Nicky was Kevin, who’d watched his father take a man apart and gone on to sign with the national team. Kevin was watching him, but the second their eyes met he pointed the way they’d come. </p><p>“Give them their gear.”</p><p>Aaron and Nicky brought Neil and Alex back to the locker room. Andrew hadn’t followed them into the stadium, but he wasn’t in the foyer either. Neil didn’t care enough to ask but obviously Alex did.</p><p>“Where’s Andrew?”</p><p>“He just dosed up,” Nicky said, “so he’s out cold somewhere. He’s going to crash and reboot into crazy mode.”</p><p>“You don’t think he’s crazy now?”</p><p>“Crazy, nah,” Nicky said. “Soulless, perhaps.”</p><p>Neil looked at Aaron, waiting for him to defend his brother, but Aaron didn’t say anything as he led them into the changing room. The front room was lined with lockers, each one marked with the players’ numbers and names. Through the doorway at the back Neil could see sinks and he assumed the showers were around the corner out of sight. He was more interested in the locker with his name on it, and his brother’s next to him. </p><p>Coaches Hernandez and Wymack had spent the last few weeks of the twins’ senior year arguing details on what sort of equipment they needed. Knowing that everything was going to be here for them wasn’t half as good as seeing it. They each had five outfits for workouts, and a set of both home and away uniforms. Mounds of padding and armour took up most of the space in their giant lockers, and the helmets were on the top shelf. Underneath their helmets were windbreakers, both in bright orange. “Foxes” and “Josten” were printed on the backs in reflective material. </p><p>“Satellites can pick these up in outer space,” Alex said.</p><p>Nicky laughed at that. “Dan commissioned them her first year here. She said she was tired of everyone trying to look past us. People want to pretend people like us don’t exist, you know? Everyone hopes we’re someone else’s problem to solve.” He reached out and fingered the material of Alex’s windbreaker. “They don’t understand, so they don’t know where to start. They feel overwhelmed and give up before they’ve taken the first step.”</p><p>Nicky gave himself a small shake and smiled, melancholy instantly replaced by cheer. “You know we donate a portion of ticket sales to charity? Our tickets cost a little more than anyone else’s because of it. Renee’s idea. Told you she’s pure gold. Now come on, let’s get you two looking foxy.”</p><p>He turned away to find his own gear, so Neil pulled out what he needed and brought it to the bathroom. Changing out in a stall was awkward and uncomfortable, but he’d done it so many times he had it down to an art form. Back in Millport, people were nosy, and the kids on the Exy team weren’t any better. Both Alex and Neil had never changed in front of them, but now that Alex was around people he <em>knew</em> wouldn’t judge him, he’d skipped changing in the bathroom stall. None of the Foxes had good childhoods, so there wasn’t any reason for Alex to hide the thin, ordered lines of scars on his ribs and upper thighs. Neil’s torso was a completely different story, and not self-inflicted, so he definitely wasn’t going to show anyone anytime soon. </p><p>He traded out a t-shirt for shoulder and chest padding. He did a couple of twists to make sure the straps were snug enough without being too tight, then tagged his jersey on top. He could put on shorts around the others, so he returned to the main room to finish dressing. Neil switched his jeans for shorts first, then sat on one of the benches to put the rest of his gear on.</p><p>They went back to the foyer, and Nicky had Neil unlock the gear door Kevin indicated earlier. Aaron got a bucket of balls while Nicky rolled out the stick rack. The racquets were arranged by numbers, a pair for each player with Alex’s at the end. Neil unhooked one and gave it a slow spin. It was dark orange with a single white stripe at the base of the head and white rope netting. It smelt brand new and felt like a dream, and it was all he could do to keep from smashing the taut net against his face. At Millport they’d used some of the older team racquets. These ones had been specifically ordered for them, and the thought alone was enough to send Neil’s heart racing. </p><p>Kevin was right where they’d left him, waiting for them in the inner ring. He watched silently as they tugged on their helmets and gloves and said nothing when Aaron led the wat to the home court entrance. Neil used his last key to unlock the door and then stuffed the keys into his glove for safekeeping. </p><p>After the door closed behind them, Neil looked at Nicky and asked, “Is Kevin not going to play today?”</p><p>Nicky looked surprised that he’d ask. “Kevin only tolerates our court under two conditions: alone, or with Andrew on it. He’ll have to get over it this fall when Renee or Alex are in goal at games, but for now he can get away with being a snob.”</p><p>“And he’s not worried about forgetting how to play with other people?”</p><p>“Kevin thinks he could win a whole game by himself, so take that how you will.”</p><p>Neil kept pace with Nicky, idly poking his fingers through the netting od his racquet. He looked at Kevin, who was still watching them through the court wall, then at Alex, who asked, “Kevin can’t really play, can he? They said it’d be a miracle if he ever picked up a racquet again.”</p><p>“His left hand’s pretty much out,” Nicky said. “He’s playing as a rightie from now on.”</p><p>Alex stared. “What?” </p><p>Nicky grinned, obviously pleased to have dropped the bombshell. “They don’t call him an obsessive genius for nothing you know.”</p><p>“It’s not genius,” Aaron said. “It’s spite.”</p><p>“That too,” Nicky said. “I wish I could see the look on Riko’s face when he sees our first game. Rat bastard.”</p><p>Kevin pounded on the wall in a demand for them to get moving. </p><p>Nicky waved a hand at him in dismissal. “We’re doing this in our free time, you know!” he yelled, not that Kevin could hear him through the walls. </p><p>“Thank you,” Alex said. “I know Neil’s thinking it too. You two didn’t have to come down here during your break, but you did, so thanks.”</p><p>“Huh? Oh, no. Don’t worry about it. You can make it up to be some other time when the others aren’t around.”</p><p>“Can you try and get ass when I’m not standing right here?” Aaron asked.</p><p>“You could leave and let me and Alex get to know each other better.”</p><p>“I’ll tell Erik on you.”</p><p>“Bald-faced lie. When’s the last time you said a civil word to him?”</p><p>“Who’s Erik?” asked Neil, the name unfamiliar to him.</p><p>“Oh, he’s my husband,” Nicky said happily. “Or will be, eventually. He was my home-stay brother for a year in Berlin and we moved in together after graduation.”</p><p>Neil’s heart skipped a beat. “You lived in Germany?”</p><p>He tried to do the math in head, guessing Nicky’s age against how long ago he’d been in high school. Chances were Neil had already moved on to Switzerland by the time Nicky made it to German soil, but it was such a close call Neil couldn’t breathe.</p><p>“Ja,” Nicky said. “You heard us earlier with the mumbo-jumbo, right? That was German. The little punks studied it at high school because they knew I could help them pass. If either of you take German as your elective, just let me know and I’ll tutor you. I’m good with my tongue.”</p><p>“Enough. Let’s play,” Aaron said, putting the bucket of balls down. </p><p>Nicky gave an exaggerated sigh. “Anyway, remind me to show you his picture later. Our babies are going to be gorgeous.”</p><p>Alex frowned, confused. “He doesn’t live here?”</p><p>“Oh, no. He’s in Stuttgart. Got a job he loves with great career potential, so he couldn’t follow me here. I was only supposed to stay long enough to get these kids through high school, but when Coach offered me a scholarship Erik said I should go for it. It sucks being apart for so long, but he came here last Christmas, and I’ll go there this year. If things ever die around here, I’ll even get to spend next summer in Germany.” Nicky sent a meaningful look toward the wall where Kevin was watching them. </p><p>They spent the next hour and a half teaching Neil and Alex drills. A lot of them Neil had done before, but there were a few he didn’t recognise, and it gave him a thrill to learn something new. They ended with a short scrimmage, one striker against two backliners and Alex in goal. Aaron and Nicky weren’t the best defence in the NCAA by far, but they were far better than any of the high schoolers Neil was used to playing – and with Alex as a goalkeeper, Neil only managed to score once or twice. </p><p>Aaron called them to a stop at last and Neil caught the ball on a rebound. When he dropped it into the bucket the others started unstrapping their helmets. Neil squished a flare of disappointment that they were done so soon, but he wouldn’t push them to play any longer; Nicky had already said that they were giving up their summer break to play with them. </p><p>Nicky smeared his cheek against his shoulder, trying to wipe sweat off onto his jersey. He smiled at Neil and Alex. “How’s that?”</p><p>“It was fun,” Alex said. “You two are really good. Neil always sprinted right past the backliners in high school.”</p><p>Nicky beamed but Aaron snorted. “Kevin would kill himself if he heard that.”</p><p>“Kevin thinks we’re a waste of oxygen,” Nicky said with a shrug.</p><p>“At least neither of you are going to completely drag us down,” Aaron said. “It’ll take most of the season to get you where you need to be, but I can see why Kevin picked you.”</p><p>“Speaking of…” Nicky tipped his head toward the wall. “Someone’s ready to get his hands on you two.”</p><p>Neil followed the gesture and looked through the wall toward the Foxes’ benches. Andrew had reappeared and was lying flat on his back on the home bench, playing catch with a spare ball. Kevin had gotten his racquet at some point and was spinning it as he watched them. With half the court and a half-inch-thick wall between them, Neil could still feel Kevin’s stare like a physical weight.</p><p>“Fear for your lives,” Nicky said. “He’s not a forgiving tutor, and he doesn’t know how to be nice. Kevin can piss off anyone on an Exy court, up to and including a drugged Andrew. Well, anyone except Renee, but she’s not human so she doesn’t count.”</p><p>Neil looked at Andrew again. “I thought his medication made that impossible.”</p><p>“Spring was a learning experience,” Nicky propped his racquet against his shoulder and started for the door. “Wish you’d seen it. Andrew would’ve taken Kevin’s head off if Kevin hadn’t already thrown Andrew’s racquet halfway across the court. I can’t wait to see how you two handle it.”</p><p>“Fantastic,” Neil said, grabbing the balls bucket and following them off the court with Alex in front of him. </p><p>Andrew sat up as the court door banged closed behind them and tossed his ball to Nicky. He’d brought the whiskey with him and left it on the ground by his feet. Now he scooped it up and twisted the lid off. </p><p>“About time,” he said. “Nicky it’s so boring waiting on you.”</p><p>“We’re done now,” Nicky said, hooking his helmet over the end of his racquet so he could reach for the whiskey. “About time you stop that, don’t you think? Abby’s going to beat me senseless if she realises you’ve been drinking.”</p><p>“Doesn’t sound like my problem,” Andrew said with a brilliant smile. </p><p>Nicky looked to Aaron for help, but Aaron went ahead of them to the locker room. Nicky mimed blowing his brains out and went with him, Alex not far behind. Neil meant to go after them, but he’d made the mistake of looking at Kevin. Once he met Kevin’s eyes, it was hard to look away again.</p><p>Kevin’s expression was indecipherable. Whatever it was, it didn’t look particularly happy. “This is going to be a very long season.”</p><p>“I told you we weren’t ready.”</p><p>“You also said you wouldn’t play for me, but here you are.”</p><p>Neil didn’t answer that accusation. Kevin got right in his face and tangled his fingers through the netting of Neil’s racquet. When he started to pull it away, Neil held on tighter, silently refusing to let go. Kevin probably could have wrenched it away if he tried a little harder, but he seemed content just to hold on.</p><p>“If you won’t play with me, you’ll play for me,” Kevin said. “You’re never going to get there on your own, even with your brother helping you, so give your game to me.”</p><p>“Where is ‘there’?” Neil asked. </p><p>“If you can’t figure that out there’s no helping you,” Kevin said.</p><p>Neil gazed back at him in silence, pretty sure ‘there’ didn’t apply to someone like him. Kevin must have seen that in the unimpressed look on his face because he reached up and covered Neil’s eyes with his free hand.</p><p>“Forget the stadium,” Kevin said. “Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. What do you see?”</p><p>Imagining life in such simplistic terms was so ridiculous Neil almost laughed. He kept the vicious twist of his mouth off his face through sheer willpower alone. Kevin must have seen something because he gave Neil’s racquet a hard tug.</p><p>“Focus.”</p><p>Neil thought about everything in his life leading up to this moment: little leagues in Baltimore with guards watching him and his mother as she cheered him on, the scrimmage in Castle Evermore and the murder, running away, finding out about his brother Abram, running more. Exy had been the only bright point in his childhood, and his mother had beaten him for staring too long at an Exy magazine when they had returned to the States. </p><p>But he’d dreamt about it, when he wanted to escape his reality, and now that it was within his reach, he needed more. He wanted to play Exy for as long as possible, and if giving Kevin his game was the way to do that, then Neil would do that.</p><p>“You,” Neil said at last. Kevin pulled at his racquet again, and this time Neil let go.</p><p>“Tell me I can have your game.”</p><p>“Take it.”</p><p>“Neil understands,” Kevin said, dropping his hand and sending Andrew a pointed look.</p><p>“Congratulations are in order, I suppose! Since I have none to give, I will tell the others to respond appropriately.” Andrew pushed himself to his feet and swallowed more whiskey. “Neil! Hello. We meet again.”</p><p>“We met earlier,” Neil said. “If this is another trick, just let it go.”</p><p>Andrew grinned at him around the mouth of his bottle. “Don’t be so suspicious. You saw me take my medicine. If I hadn’t, I’d be keeled over somewhere by now puking from the withdrawal. As it is, I might puke from all the fanaticism going around.”</p><p>“He’s high,” Kevin told Neil. “He tells me when he’s sober, so I always know. How did you figure it out?”</p><p>“They’re identical twins but they’re not the same.” Neil lifted one shoulder with a shrug. “The cigarettes. Only one of them had a pack in their back pocket. And one of them hates your obsession with Exy while the other couldn’t care less.”</p><p>Kevin looked to Andrew, but Andrew only had eyes for Neil. Andrew took a second to process those words before he started laughing. “He’s a comedian, too? An athlete and a comic and a student. How multitalented. What a grand addition to the Fox line. I can’t wait to find out what else he can do Perhaps we should throw a talent show and find out? But later. Kevin, we’re going. I need food.”</p><p>Kevin handed Neil his racquet back and the three went to the locker room. Aaron and Nicky were already in the showers when they arrived, but Alex was sitting on one of the benches, obviously having waited for his brother. </p><p>“Neil it’s amazing, they have <em>separate stalls</em> in the showers,” Alex said.</p><p>“You waited for me?” Neil asked.</p><p>“Yeah, I wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t have to freak out.”</p><p>“Interesting.” Andrew tilted his head to the side, inspecting Neil. He waited until Alex walked off to shower, then he leaned towards Kevin and put a hand to his mouth, but he didn’t bother to lower his voice. “What do you think Kevin, is it bruises or scars? I think scars, too. Can’t be bruises if their parents aren’t around to beat them, right?”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, that’s none of your business.” Neil turned away from him, then went off to the bathroom. The sinks with their ceiling-high mirrors were the connecting section between the toilets and the showers, and the showers were around the corner. He edged around for a quick look. Alex was telling the truth. The walls were lined with stalls, tall enough to afford complete privacy and outfitted with locking doors. </p><p>“Weird, right? Andrew said at Neil’s ear. Neil hadn’t heard his approach over the sound of the showers. Lashing out was instinctive, but Andrew caught the elbow Neil would have slammed into his ribs. Andrew laughed and retreated a couple steps. “Coach never explained it. Maybe he thought we’d need to grieve our disastrous losses in private. Only the best for rising stars, right?”</p><p>“I didn’t think Wymack recruited rising stars,” Neil said, pushing past Andrew for his locker. </p><p>“No,” Andrew agreed. “The Foxes will never amount to anything. Try telling Dan that, though, and she’ll box your ears.” He scooped up his whiskey and started for the door. “Kevin, car.”</p><p>Neil watched the door close behind them before gathering his clothes and heading to the showers. He washed as quickly as he could and grimaced as he got dressed again. Vents kept the air moving, pulling moisture out to cut back on mildew, but the room still felt heavy and wet. Neil felt sticky as he tugged his clothes on. He raked his fingers through his hair as he met up with the cousins and Alex in the main room. They showed them where to put their armour so it could air dry and their uniforms to be washed. Aaron got the lights on their way out, Neil locked the doors, and they found the other two waiting by the car.</p><p>Nicky took the keys from Andrew and shook them at Neil and Alex. “It’s your first day, so one of you gets shotgun. Enjoy it while you can. Kevin hates sitting in the back.”</p><p>“Dibs,” Alex said, and Neil didn’t mind it much as he piled into the backseat with the others. It was extremely squished, and since he was the skinniest, he was put in the middle beside Aaron at the window and Kevin, so Neil hoped the ride was short. He got the feeling Alex didn’t feel the same as he chatted with Nicky up front. </p><p>Abigail Winfield lived in a one-storey house about five minutes from campus. Nicky parked on the kerb since there were already two cars in the driveway when they arrived. The front door was unlocked, so they let themselves in without knocking, and they were greeted by the thick smells of garlic and warm tomato sauce. </p><p>Coach Wymack and Abigail were in the kitchen already. Wymack was grumbling as he dug through the silverware drawer and Abigail ignored him in favour of stirring something at the stove. Coach spotted the Foxes first and stabbed a finger at Nicky. </p><p>“Hemmick, get over here and be useful for once in your mangy life. Table needs setting.”</p><p>“Aww, Coach,” Nicky complained as Abigail turned. “Why do you always have to pick on me? You already started it. Can’t you finish?”</p><p>“Shut your face and get to work.”</p><p>“Can’t you two behave when we’ve got guests?” Abigail asked, setting aside her spoon and coming to greet them.</p><p>Wymack raked the group with a look. “I don’t see any guests. Alex and Neil are Foxes. They’re not going to get any special treatment just because it’s their first day. Don’t want them thinking this team is anything but dysfunctional or June will be a rude wake-up call.”</p><p>“David? Shut up and make sure the vegetables aren’t boiling over. Kevin, check the bread. Its in the oven. Nicky, table. Aaron, help him. Andrew Joseph Minyard, that better not be what I think it is.” She made a grab at the whiskey, but Andrew laughed and ducked out of the doorway. Abigail looked like she wanted to go after him down the hall, but Neil was in her way. He stepped neatly to one side to let her through, but she settled for flicking Nicky a murderous look. </p><p>“What was I supposed to do?” Nicky asked, avoiding her eyes as the three split up to their various chores. “Take it from him? No way in hell.”</p><p>Abigail ignored him in favour of facing Neil and his brother. “You’d be Neil, then, and Alex. I’m Abby. I’m nurse for the team and temporary landlord to this lot. They’re not harassing you too much, are they?”</p><p>“No worries,” Andrew called from out of sight. “They’ll actually take work to break, I think. Give me until August, maybe.”</p><p>“If you dare give us a repeat of last year—”</p><p>“Then Bee will be here to pick the pieces up,” Andrew interrupted, reappearing in the doorway at Neil’s side. He’d lost the whiskey along the way and he splayed his hands at her in a calming gesture. “She did so well with Matt, didn’t she? They won’t even be a blip on her radar. You did invite her over, didn’t you?”</p><p>“I invited her, but she declined. She thought it would make things awkward.”</p><p>“Things aren’t anything but awkward when Andrew and Nicky are around,” Coach said. </p><p>Andrew didn’t even try to defend his honour but looked at Alex and Neil. “Bee’s a shrink. Used to work in the juvie system, but now she’s here. She deals with the really serious cases on campus: suicide watch, budding psychopaths, that sort of thing. That makes her our designated handler. You’ll meet her in August.”</p><p>“Do we have to?” Neil asked. </p><p>“It’s mandatory once a semester for athletes,” Abby confirmed. “The first time is a casual meet-and-greet so you get to know her and find out where her office is. The second session is in spring. Of course, you’re free to visit her any time you like, and she’ll talk to you more about scheduling while you’re there. Counselling services are included in your tuition, so you might as well make use of it.”</p><p>“Betsy’s amazing,” Nicky said. “You’ll love her.”</p><p>Neil doubted he would, but he let it slide for now. </p><p>“Let’s eat, shall we?” Abby asked, motioning for Andrew, Alex and Neil to enter the room. </p><p>Neil had just about lost his appetite, but he sat at the table as far as he could get from Kevin and Andrew’s seats. Conversation died as everyone got settled and served up what they wanted, but it started up again as they dug into chunks of steaming lasagne. Neil tried as best he could to stay out of it, more interested in seeing the way they interacted, and the way Alex fit himself right into their conversations. </p><p>From time to time the table split as Kevin and Wymack got caught up talking about spring training and recruits at other schools and Nicky regaled the other half of the table with gossip about movies and celebrities Neil didn’t know but Alex apparently did. Andrew watched Kevin and Wymack, but he had nothing to contribute. Instead he hummed to himself and pushed his food around his plate.</p><p>It was after ten when Wymack decided it was time to go, and Neil and Alex left with him. Getting in the car with him was hard, even if he sat in the backseat. Andrew was crazy, but because of Neil’s ingrained fear of men old enough to be his father, he spent the whole ride frozen and silent. Wymack and Alex made light conversation, and maybe Wymack noticed the rigid set to Neil’s shoulders, because neither of them said anything to him until they were back at Wymack’s apartment.</p><p>When Wymack closed and locked the front door behind them, he asked, “Are they going to be a problem.”</p><p>Alex shook his head. “I’ll manage. Neil will figure it out.”</p><p>“They don’t understand boundaries,” Wymack said. “If they cross a line and you can’t get them to back off, you come to me. Understand? I don’t have perfect control over Andrew, but Kevin owes us his life and I can get to Andrew through him.”</p><p>Neil nodded and went down the hall to get his bag from Wymack’s desk. It’d been locked up all day, but he unloaded it onto the couch to check his things. The second his hands closed over the binder at the bottom of the bag, his heart kicked into overdrive. He wanted to go through it and make sure everything was there, but Wymack was watching him from the doorway, and Alex was looking through his own bag. </p><p>“You plan on wearing the same six outfits over and over again this year?” Wymack asked. </p><p>“Eight,” Alex said, “and no he’s not because I am going to buy him a shit ton of new clothes.”</p><p>“No, you’re not, I’m fine,” Neil argued. </p><p>Wymack arched an eyebrow at him but didn’t say push it. “Laundry room is in the basement. Detergent’s in the bathroom cabinet under the sink. Use what you need and take what you want from the kitchen. It’ll piss me off more if you act like skittish stray cats than it will if you eat the last bowl of cereal.”</p><p>“Yes, Coach,” they replied in unison.</p><p>“I’ve got paperwork to go over. You good?”</p><p>“I might go running,” Neil said. </p><p>Wymack nodded and left. Alex looked to him, incredulous. “Running? Really? It’s like eleven pm.”</p><p>“You can do what you want, but I’m going.”</p><p>Alex rolled his eyes, sighing, but he didn’t reply. Neil set his joggers to one side and stuffed his makeshift pyjamas under the couch for when he got back. He changed in the bathroom and then let Alex use it. Neil went to lock his bag back up and Wymack didn’t even look up from the papers he was perusing, though he grunted what might have been a goodbye as Neil left again. Neil locked the door behind him, stuffed the keys to the bottom of his pocket, and took the stairs down to the ground floor.</p><p>He didn’t know where he was or where he was going, but that was all right. If he gave his feet a direction, they’d take him running past all of his thoughts, and he’d be happy to let them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my writing schedule got fucked up by the return of school so have this many many days too late</p><p>not edited or betaed or anything.</p><p>again, a lot of it ive taken straight from the books. major plotpoints will both stay the same and change completely so watch out for that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil and Alex spent the following morning exploring the campus together and memorising its layout. When they were sure they knew their way around, they left the school grounds, and Neil went for a long run while Alex went to have some lunch and probably meet up with Nicky. It wasn’t surprising to Neil that they got along well, in fact, he was glad that his brother was making friends. As long as he didn’t get attached, he would be fine. </p><p>Neil gradually looped his way back around the university campus. He had an hour to stretch out and eat lunch before he met the others at the stadium, and he made sure to show up early enough to change in private.</p><p>When the others arrived, Neil was waiting for them on the court. He watched as Kevin propelled Andrew towards the home goal. Andrew was laughing about something, but Neil couldn’t hear what Kevin was saying to him. Aaron, Nicky, and Alex scattered balls down the first-fourth line, and Alex rolled a couple Neil’s way. Neil spaced them out at half-court around him.</p><p>They started with drills, with Alex joining in too, aiming to improve his aim. He wouldn’t need to know how to score on a goalkeeper seeing as he was one, but if the team ever needed an impromptu backliner or defensive dealer sub, he could fulfil that role. Some of the drills Neil practiced yesterday and they did a few more he didn’t know. The exercises gradually increased in difficulty and Neil grimaced a little as Andrew deflected every shot Neil aimed his way. It was only a little comforting that Aaron, Nicky, and Alex couldn’t score either, but Kevin landed almost a third of his shots. It was a poor show from a former national champion, but it was also intensely humbling as Kevin had grown up playing left-handed. Seeing him take on Andrew right-handed was ballsy enough; seeing him actually score was surreal.</p><p>Kevin kicked them off the court for a water break after an hour and a half of drills, but instead of following the others and Neil to the locker room, he stayed behind with Andrew to keep practicing. Neil watched them over his shoulder. </p><p>“I saw him first,” Nicky said.</p><p>“I thought you had Erik,” Alex said.</p><p>“I do, but Kevin’s on the List,” Nicky said.</p><p>“The List?”</p><p>Nicky explained. “It’s a list of celebrities we’re allowed to have affairs with. Kevin is my number three.”</p><p>“Who’s your number one?”</p><p>“Channing Tatum.”</p><p>Neil pretended to understand what they were talking about and then changed the topic. “How does anyone lose against the Foxes with Andrew in your goal?”</p><p>“He’s good, right? But Andrew sat out most of last year.” Nicky shrugged. “Coach didn’t need a third goalie when he signed us, so Andrew was a bench warmer, which is probably what’s gonna happen with you, Alex. Anyway, in November, the ERC threatened to revoke our Class I status and fire Coach if he didn’t start winning more often. Coach bribed Andrew into saving our collective asses with some really nice booze.”</p><p>“Bribed?” Neil echoed.</p><p>“Andrew’s good,” Nicky said again, “but it doesn’t really matter to him if we win or lose. You want him to care, you gotta give him incentive.”</p><p>“He can’t play like that and not care.”</p><p>“Now you sound like Kevin. You’ll find out the hard way, same as Kevin did. Kevin gave Andrew a lot of grief this spring,” Nicky said as they pushed their way into the locker room. Aaron went ahead of them to the water fountain, Alex right behind him, and Nicky propped himself against the wall to watch Neil. “Andrew walked off the court for an entire month. He said he’d break his own fingers if Coach made him play with Kevin again.”</p><p>The thought of Andrew willingly destroying his talent made Neil’s heart clench. “But he’s playing now.”</p><p>Nicky took a couple sips from the water fountain as soon as Alex stepped out of the way and smeared a hand across his mouth. “Only because Kevin is. Kevin got back on the court with a racquet in his right hand, and Andrew wasn’t far behind him. Up until then they were fighting like cats and dogs. Now look at them. They’re practically trading friendship bracelets and I couldn’t fit a crowbar between them if it’d save my life.”</p><p>“But why?” Neil asked. “Andrew hates Kevin’s obsession with Exy.”</p><p>“The day they start making sense to you, let me know,” Nicky said, moving so Neil could get a drink. “I gave up trying to sort it all out weeks ago. You could ask, but neither of them will answer. But as long as I’m doling out advice? Stop staring at Kevin so much. You’re making me fear for your life over here.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Andrew is scary territorial of him. He punched me the first time I said I’d like to get Kevin too wasted to be straight.” Nicky pointed at his face, presumably where Andrew had decked him. </p><p>“I don’t think that’s just him being territorial Nicky,” Alex said. “It’s probably more to do with your plan and how’s that not okay.”</p><p>Nicky shrugged. “Yeah whatever. So, I’m going to crush on safer targets until Andrew gets bored of him. That means either one of you, since Matt’s taken and I don’t hate myself enough to try Seth. Congrats.”</p><p>“Can you take the creepy down a level?” Aaron asked.</p><p>“What?” Nicky asked. “He said he doesn’t swing, so obviously he needs a push.”</p><p>“That’s… not how sexuality works,” Alex said. </p><p>“I don’t need a push,” Neil said. “I’m fine on my own.”</p><p>“Seriously, how are you not bored of your hand by now?”</p><p>“I’m done with this conversation,” Neil said. “This and every future variation of it. Look, Nicky, I have no problems with your sexuality, but I’m here to play. All I want from any of you is the best you can give me on the court.”</p><p>The stadium door slammed open as Andrew showed up at last. He swept them a wide-eyed look as if surprised to see them all there. “Kevin wants to know what’s taking you so long. Did you get lost?”</p><p>“Nicky’s scheming to rape Neil,” Aaron said. “There are a couple flaws in his plan he needs to work out first, but he’ll get there sooner or later.”</p><p>“No he fucking won’t,” Alex said. “Nicky, respect that Neil doesn’t swing, and we won’t have a problem, okay?</p><p>“Wow Nicky,” Andrew said. “You start early.”</p><p>“Can you really blame me?”</p><p>Nicky glanced back at Neil and Alex as he said it. He only took his eyes off Andrew for a second, but that was long enough for Andrew to lunge at him. Andrew caught Nicky’s jersey in one hand and threw him hard up against the wall. Nicky grunted at the impact but made no move to shove Andrew off when Andrew leaned up against him. Neil looked from Nicky to Aaron, but Aaron appeared unmoved and unsurprised by the sudden violence. Neil shared a look with Alex but then they looked back at Andrew and waited to see how this played out.</p><p>“Hey, Nicky,” Andrew said in stage-whisper German. “Don’t touch him, you understand?”</p><p>“You know I’d never him. If he says yes—”</p><p>“I said no. So will he. You’ve been told he doesn’t swing, so he won’t say yes.”</p><p>“Not swinging isn’t a thing,” Nicky said. “You already have Kevin. Why does it—”</p><p>He went silent, but it took Neil a moment to realise why. Andrew had a short knife pressed to Nicky’s jersey. Where he’d pulled it from, Neil didn’t know, but he refused to think Andrew wore one onto the court under his uniform. There had to be ruled and regulations against that. The last thing Neil wanted was for Andrew to stab someone in the middle of a game. The Foxes would be banned from the league in an instant. </p><p>“Shh, Nicky, shh,” Andrew said, like he was soothing a troubled child. “Why the long face? It’s going to be okay.”</p><p>Neil was no stranger to violence. He’d heard every threat in the book, but never from a man who smiled as bright as Andrew did. Apathy, anger, madness, boredom; these motivations Neil knew and understood. But Andrew was grinning like he didn’t have a knife point where it’d slip perfectly between Nicky’s ribs, and it wasn’t because he was joking. Neil knew Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned. </p><p>Neil wondered if Andrew’s medication would let him grieve, or if he’d laugh at Nicky’s funeral too. Then he wondered if a sober Andrew would act any different. Was this Andrew’s psychosis or his medicine? Was he flying too high to understand what he was doing, or did his medicine only add a smile to Andrew’s ingrained violence?</p><p>Neil looked at Aaron, waiting for him to interfere, Aaron was tense but quiet as he stared at Andrew’s knife. Neil gave him another second, but he couldn’t wait forever. He didn’t know what would finally set Andrew off and he didn’t want to find out. Neil turned his gaze to his brother, silently telling him that he would try to handle it. Alex nodded minutely in agreement, but Neil knew he’d intervene if Neil didn’t manage. </p><p>“Hey,” Neil said, looking back at Andrew. “That’s enough.”</p><p>“Quiet,” Nicky said in English, barely louder than a breath of air. “Quiet. It’s fine.”</p><p>“Hey,” Neil said again, ignoring him, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Questioning Andrew’s sanity or calling his bluff would end with Nicky in the hospital. He wouldn’t pretend to accept Nicky’s advances just to calm Andrew down. What Neil needed was a distraction, something more important to Andrew than Nicky. That left only one thing that Neil knew of. One person, rather.</p><p>“Are we playing or what?” he said. “Kevin’s waiting.”</p><p>Andrew looked at Neil as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “Oh, you’re right. Let’s go or we’ll never hear the end of it.”</p><p>Andrew let go of Nicky and spun away. His knife vanished under his armour before he reached the door. Aaron squeezed Nicky’s shoulder on his way out, and Alex looked briefly back at his brother before leaving too. Nicky looked shaken as he stared after his cousins, but when he realised Neil was watching him he rallied with a smile Neil didn’t believe at all. </p><p>“On second thought, you’re not my type after all,” Nicky said when the door closed behind the others. “You need some more water before we hit the court for round two?”</p><p>“That’s not okay,” Neil said, pointing at the door. </p><p>“That’s nothing,” Nicky said. </p><p>Neil caught his arm as Nicky passed and hauled him to a stop. “Don’t let him get away with things like that.”</p><p>Nicky considered him for a moment, his smile fading into something small and tired. “Oh, Neil. You’re going to make this so hard on yourself. Look,” he said, tugging free and turning Neil toward the door. “Andrew is a little bit crazy. Your lines are not his lines, so you can get all huff and puff when he tramps across yours but you’ll never make him understand what he did wrong. Moreover, you’ll never make him care. So just stay out of his way.” </p><p>“He’s like this because you let him get away with it. I’m not saying you were completely innocent,” Neil said. “But you’re putting us all at risk.”</p><p>“I know that was my fault,” Nicky opened the door and waited for Neil to precede him out. “I said something I shouldn’t have, and I got what I deserved.”</p><p>Neil wasn’t convinced, but he couldn’t demand better explanations for an argument that had happened in German, so he led the way to the inner court. Neil looked first to Andrew, who was jogging to the half-court line, and then to Kevin, who was standing on the fox paw logo at the court’s centre. Aaron was at the door with Alex, waiting for Nicky and Neil, and the four entered the court together. </p><p>Kevin barely waited for them to stop at his side before dividing them up with a flick of his fingers. “Aaron is with me. Nicky and Andrew get the child. The other one can sit and watch.”</p><p>“We’re not children,” Neil said. “You’re only a year older than us.” Two, really, but he wasn’t about to tell them he’d lied about both their birthdays and their ages. </p><p>Kevin ignored that, but Nicky spoke up, “Shouldn’t Andrew be with you and Aaron? Then Neil can practice shooting on him. Or even put Alex against him.”</p><p>Kevin looked bored by the suggestions. “If I thought he could make it to the goal, I would have set it up that way. There is no point in putting him against his brother, they know each other’s moves already and won’t be able to improve.”</p><p>“Them’s fighting words,” Nicky said, grinning at Neil. “Bring it kid.”</p><p>There were only five of them on the court, but they set up as if they had two full teams. Andrew acted as dealer from his place in home goal and slammed the ball all the way to the other end of the court. The second Neil heard the crack of Andrew’s racquet, he started moving, pushing up before Aaron could close him out. </p><p>Kevin should have done the same and pushed up the court towards Nicky, but he stayed on the half-court line. Likewise, Aaron let the rebound go past him. Neil didn’t stop to think about it but scooped the ball out of the air. He only had it for two seconds before Kevin appeared out of nowhere. Kevin smashed their racquets together so hard the ball popped one way and Neil’s racquet flew the other/ Neil swore at the sharp pain that stabbed up his arms.</p><p>“Keep count,” Kevin said before going after the ball.</p><p>Neil scrambled for his stick and hurried after him, but he could only watch as Kevin scored against Andrew – who was just standing in goal, leaning against his racquet. He looked over his shoulder as the goal lines lit up red but didn’t react otherwise. </p><p>“You could at least try,” Kevin said.</p><p>Andrew thought about it, then said, “I could, couldn’t I? Maybe next time.” </p><p>Nicky caught the ball and tossed it to Andrew, who caught it with his goalie glove. They set up again and Andrew started them off with another vicious serve. This time when Neil was close enough to catching the ball that body-checks were legal, Aaron slammed into him, caught the ball from Neil’s falling racquet, and passed it up to Kevin. Andrew watched as Kevin scored again. </p><p>“What’s Andrew doing?” Neil asked.</p><p>“Nothing,” Aaron said, as simple as it was obvious, and they set up for another serve.</p><p>At the twenty-minute mark, Kevin checked Neil into the wall and pinned him there with a gloved hand to his chest long enough to demand, “Are you even trying?”</p><p>Neil shoved him, but Kevin was already leaving, off to grab the ball and score again.</p><p>The court seemed so much larger when he only had one teammate to rely on, and the rules that let them carry a ball for ten steps made them rely heavily on the court’s walls. Neil wasn’t used to playing like this. He didn’t like it, and unfamiliarity with this style only made it easier for Aaron and Kevin to completely dominate the court. </p><p>Each set forced Neil to try harder and go faster, but this wasn’t Millport. His childhood experience and his speed weren’t enough when facing athletes of this calibre. Neil was frustrated, then amazed, then frustrated all over again as the scrimmage wore on. He scored a couple of times during the scrimmage, but his goals felt worthless when he didn’t have a goalkeeper to contend with. </p><p>After forty minutes, Kevin called them to an abrupt halt and swept his racquet at the backliners. “Get out. Both of you get out right now and take Josten with you.”</p><p>“Thank God,” Nicky said, and ran for the door.</p><p>Neil watched as Aaron closed the door behind them, taking Alex with them to the locker room to leave. Alex gave Neil a look that said <em>‘I want to know everything about what happens’</em>, and Neil nodded back.</p><p>Kevin waited for them to leave, then grabbed the grated front of Neil’s helmet and dragged him towards Andrew’s goal. Andrew finally took an interest in the proceedings and stood up straight. Kevin let go when Neil reached the fox paw marking the foul line. </p><p>“Ball,” he said, and Andrew tossed it over. Kevin pushed it against Neil’s chest until Neil look it. “You stay here and fire on Andrew until he’s tired. Maybe you’ll score once.”</p><p>“Uh oh,” Andrew said with a laugh. “This won’t end well.”</p><p>Kevin turned around and left, slamming the door behind him on his way out. Neil collected the bucket of balls from the north home corner where they’d stored it during their scrimmage. He set the bucket on first-fourth and went back to the foul line for his first shot.</p><p>Andrew, who hadn’t so much as lifted a finger to stop Kevin from scoring on him, didn’t have the same consideration for Neil. He swept his massive racquet around in one long swing and hit the ball s hard Neil heard it bounce off the away court wall behind him. Neil looked over his shoulder, then took another ball from the bucket and tried again. </p><p>Neil lost track of time after that. Swings and minutes blurred in an exhausting mix. He kept going ling after his arms started burning because he didn’t know how to stop. Eventually the pain faded in favour of a heavy sense of numbness. He knew Andrew should be tired by now since Andrew had such a heavy racquet and hitting every ball like he wanted to score a home run, but Andrew didn’t even slow down. He was a totally different goalkeeper from Alex, and Neil found it impossible to score against him, or even analyse his playing style. </p><p>Neil knew he’d gone too far when he took a swing and lost his grip on his racquet. Andrew laughed as it clattered against the ground and skidded towards the goal. Andrew knocked the ball straight back at Neil, and Neil didn’t have a racquet to defend himself with. He brought up his arms to block his face instinctively, but he felt that sharp smack on his forearms even through his armguards. He stumbled back a step under the impact and shot Andrew a dirty look.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Andrew said.  “Tick tock. I won’t wait forever for you.”</p><p>Neil knew it was a bad idea, but he went for his racquet anyway. Picking it up hurt, but when he tried to lift it high enough for a swing, his right arm gave a sharp spasm and he lost his grip. His stick hit the court at his feet. </p><p>“Oh no,” Andrew said. “I think Neil’s in trouble.”</p><p>Neil crouched and reached for his racquet. It felt like his muscles were unravelling inside of him, twisting into tight balls around his elbow and wrist, but Neil wrapped his fingers around the stick and picked it up. Andrew stood his racquet up in front him and propped his arms on top of it, waiting and watching as Neil stupidly tried another shot on goal. Neil only got his racquet shoulder height before he dropped it again. The ball rolled harmlessly away.</p><p>“Can you or can’t you?” Andrew asked.</p><p>Defeat tasted sour as Neil crouched by his racquet. “I’m done.”</p><p>Andrew left the goal to meet him but stopped with one foot on Neil’s racquet. Neil tried to pull it out from under him, but he didn’t have the strength. He was even less successful in his attempt to push Andrew off, and that hurt so much his vision crackled black.</p><p>“Get off my racquet.”</p><p>“Make me?” Andrew said, spreading his arms in invitation. “Try, anyway.” </p><p>“Don’t tempt me.”</p><p>“Such fierce words from such a little creature. Though I doubt your brother could be ‘intimidating’ either,” Andrew said, using air quotes. “You’re not very bright. Typical of a jock.”</p><p>“Hypocrite,” Neil said.</p><p>Andrew gave him a thumbs-up and pushed past Neil. Neil tried to catch himself before he tipped over, but his hand wouldn’t hold his weight. He fell flat on his back and didn’t even try to get up. He was too tired to care anymore, so he laid there and listened as Andrew left the court. The door banged closed behind him. Neil rolled his head to one side and watched through the walls as he left with Kevin.</p><p>“Damn,” he whispered. He’d gone too far today in his determination to keep up with his teammates. If he couldn’t control himself and take it one step at a time, there was no way he’d be able to play by the time August rolled around.</p><p>He ran back to Wymack’s place, keeping his pace slower than usual, and took the stairs up to the seventh floor. The apartment door was unlocked and Wymack and Alex were waiting for him in the hall, Wymack with a can of coffee grinds in his hand.</p><p>“Kevin called ahead to say you wouldn’t be on the court tomorrow and that I should entertain you with clips of past games. He said you tried to blow your arms out against Andrew. I said you weren’t that stupid, you brother said you were. Which of us is right?”</p><p>“I might have gotten carried away,” Neil said.</p><p>“Of course you did,” Alex said and went into the living room, rolling his eyes.</p><p>Wymack tossed the coffee to Neil. He caught it instinctively, but he couldn’t hold onto it. It bounced off the floor at his feet and the lid popped off to spill grinds everywhere. Wymack stalked toward Neil with a snarled, “You idiot.”</p><p>Retreating from a furious older man was so instinctive Neil didn’t realise he’d flinched until Wymack froze. Wymack’s face went almost dangerously blank and Neil dropped his gaze. He was careful not to look away from Wymack entirely. He needed to see when Wymack started moving again. He waited for Wymack to say something. After an endless, brittle silence, he realised Wymack wouldn’t speak until he did.</p><p>“Today was my mistake,” Neil said quietly. “It won’t happen a second time.”</p><p>Wymack didn’t answer. He didn’t come closer, either. At length he pointed at the ground in front of him. “Come here. No,” he said when Neil started to reach for the mess at his feet. “Leave it.”</p><p>Neil stepped over it and went to stand in front of Wymack: within arm’s reach but just barely. He’d perfected the trick as a kid. He could look at anyone’s arms and judge the safe distance from them in a heartbeat. If they had to move to hit him, he had enough time to dodge. Either way he couldn’t catch the full intended force of their blow.</p><p>“Look at me,” Wymack said. “Right now. Alex you get in here as well, stop lurking in the doorway.”</p><p>Alex looked sheepish at being caught but entered the hall and stood next to Neil. They hadn’t grown up together, so Alex wasn’t instinctually afraid of older men like Neil. But nobody at Palmetto knew that, they were just some kids from Arizona, and if Neil recoiled from men his father’s age, then it was natural to assume that Alex would too.</p><p>“I want you both to understand something,” Wymack said. “I am a loud, grouchy old man. I like to yell and throw things. But I don’t throw punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first. I have never, ever hit someone without provocation, and I’m sure as hell not going to start with you. You hear me?”</p><p>Neil didn’t believe him, but he said, “Yes, Coach.” Alex said the same.</p><p>“I’m serious,” Wymack said. “Don’t you dare be more afraid of you than you are of Andrew.”</p><p>Neil could have told him it was Wymack’s age that made him such a problem, but he didn’t think Wymack wanted to hear it. Neil could see that Alex wanted to tell Wymack about it, but he said nothing. They knew there was no solution to that problem. “Yes, Coach,” they both said.</p><p>Wymack gestured over his shoulder and stepped aside. “I already ate with your brother, but I haven’t put the leftovers away yet. I’ll take care of this. You take care of you.”</p><p>Neil ate to the sound of the vacuum. Wymack was in his office by the time Neil was done, and Neil retired to the couch. Alex was lying on the air mattress looking up at him.</p><p>“You’re an idiot,” Alex said. “I can’t believe you blew your arms out trying to score against <em>Andrew fucking Minyard</em>.”</p><p>“I know,” Neil said.</p><p>“Ugh you’re so stupid oh my god.”</p><p>“<em>I know</em>.” </p><p>*</p><p>It took Neil two weeks to decide he’d never meet Kevin’s standards, and Alex even less. It got to the point where Neil saw Kevin’s look of cool disapproval every time he blinked. Half of the time Neil didn’t know what he was doing wrong and the other half he couldn’t change. He clocked a faster mile than any of them, but they were better and stronger than he was. The only person who was on the same level as him was his brother – and Alex didn’t have Neil’s speed to gain him any extra points. Kevin knew they were inexperienced, but he didn’t forgive either of them for their mistakes. Neil didn’t want pity, but he did want understanding. When Alex asked Nicky for advice on how to deal with Kevin, Nicky only smiled and said, “I warned you.”</p><p>It did nothing for Neil’s fraying patience. Luckily being angry at himself and loathing Kevin’s condescending version of coaching meant he didn’t have time or energy to be afraid. Two weeks of playing with Kevin still gave no signs of recognising him. All Kevin cared about was how short Neil and Alex fell on his court – and as far as they could tell, it was shorter and shorter by the day. Two weeks of Kevin’s scornful dismissal and rude commentary wore away at Neil’s resolve to take it easy. He didn’t care if he blew his arms out again if it meant Kevin would stop treating him like an incompetent preschool kid.</p><p>Everything was for Exy, from his early morning run to the hours he and Alex clocked at the gym to the afternoon scrimmages to the longer run he took in the evenings after dinner. Neil made loops around the campus and went up and down the stairs in the stadium. No matter what he did he was too slow, and he went to sleep in so much pain every night he could barely change for bed. Neil knew that Alex was disappointed in him, but Kevin riled both of them up, so neither of them said anything. By the time their third week started, Neil couldn’t even sleep because he was too busy analysing the day’s mistakes.</p><p>One night he cast aside his blankets in disgust and sat up on the couch, waking his brother up. Alex opened his eyes and stared at Neil. </p><p>“Neil?”</p><p>“I’m fine. Can’t sleep,” Neil said. After a second, he added, “I’m going to the stadium.”</p><p>“I can come with you,” Alex offered. </p><p>“If you want.”</p><p>Alex got up, and together they slipped on their shoes and left the apartment. It was pitch black outside, probably somewhere around two in the morning, and it was just cool enough that Neil should’ve changed out of his pyjamas. He fared better in the cold than Alex though, who was definitely regretting not taking a hoodie. Neil warmed up quickly as he set off for Palmetto State, Alex not far behind. There were few streetlights around Wymack’s neighbourhood, but when they reached Perimeter Road, the winding street that surrounded Palmetto State, the path was better lit.</p><p>Neil knew the way to the stadium by heart even in the dark, so he led the way. There were a couple of cars in the car park as usual, and Neil thought he saw the moving figure of a security guard in the next one along. He punched in the code for the Foxes’ entrance and opened the door, then stilled with hand halfway to the light switch. The lights were already on.</p><p>“Andrew’s car is here,” Alex said lowly.</p><p>Belatedly Neil realised they’d passed the cousins’ car. He was so used to seeing it here when they met for scrimmages, he hadn’t thought it out of place. He frowned over his shoulder at it, wondering if Wymack had heard them leave and called the others to check on them, then pulled the door closed.</p><p>Alex and Neil went into every room to check but found no sign of anyone there. They stretched out in the foyer before pushing through the back door. Neil heard the sound of a ball ricocheting off the wall but with the stadium seating rising up to either side of the Foxes’ entry hall, he couldn’t see where on the court the others were. They were almost to the inner court before Neil finally spotted Kevin. Kevin was alone at first-fourth with a bucket of balls, and he was systematically heaving them at the wall. The pair watched in silence, wondering what sort of drill he was doing. It took Kevin about a dozen shots before Neil realised he was trying to rebound them all from the same spot. Kevin was honing his right-handed aim.</p><p>Watching Kevin going at it in the middle of the night, fierce and merciless, was almost enough that Neil forgave him. Kevin was more demanding of himself than he was of anyone around him. He set his standards impossibly high and tried for them with everything he had, and he didn’t understand why others would do the same.</p><p>Neil and Alex watched Kevin, but it didn’t take Alex long to realise someone else was watching them. He nudged Neil, who looked at him. Alex jerked his head in the direction of the other man. Neil didn’t turn to see where Andrew was but raised his voice enough that Andrew would hear.</p><p>“Won’t you play with him?”</p><p>“No,” Andrew said, somewhere to their left.</p><p>Neil waited, but Andrew didn’t elaborate. “I think he’d benefit more if you did.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Neil slowly turned, dragging his gaze along the empty bench to the seats behind it. Andrew was sitting in the stairwell about ten steps up. He was leaning forward, arms folded across his knees, as he stared Neil down. The blank expression on his face was startling. It’d been weeks since Neil had last seen him sober and he’d gotten used to Andrew’s drugged mania. Neil almost accused him of violating his parole again before he remembered what time it was. Andrew had likely come off his drugs to sleep.</p><p>More interesting than Andrew’s calm demeanour was the baggy t-shirt and sweatpants Andrew was wearing. Andrew wore long sleeves to pick Neil and Alex up from the airport, and they had only seen him in court gear since then. Now, without the bulky armour and gloves in the way, Neil could finally see Andrew’s trademark accessories: black bands that covered his arms from wrists to his elbows. From what Neil had heard, they were a sarcastic joke meant to help people distinguish the twins from one another. Why he had them on in the middle of the night, Neil didn’t know. </p><p>He didn’t have to ask. Andrew knew what he was looking at. He tucked two fingers into the band on his opposite arm and slid free a long, slim blade. Metal glinted in the overhead lights as Andrew pushed it back under the dark cloth a few seconds later. </p><p>“Is that you slow attempt at suicide or do you actually have sheathes built into those?” Neil asked.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“That’s not the one you tried to cut Nicky with. How many knives do you carry?”</p><p>“Enough,” Andrew said.</p><p>“What happens when a referee catches you with a weapon on the court?” Neil asked. “I think it’s a little more serious than a red card. You’d probably get arrested, and they might even suspend our entire team until they think they can trust us again. Then what?”</p><p>“I’d grieve forever,” Andrew deadpanned. </p><p>“Why do you hate this game so much?”</p><p>“Neil, not everyone is obsessed with Exy,” Alex said. “Doesn’t mean they hate it.”</p><p>Andrew sighed as if Neil was being purposely obtuse. “I don’t care enough about Exy to hate it. It’s just slightly less boring than living is, so I put up with it for now.”</p><p>“Okay edgelord,” Alex snorted.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Neil said.</p><p>“That’s not my problem.”</p><p>“Isn’t it fun?” Neil asked. </p><p>“Someone else asked me that same thing two years ago. Should I tell you what I told him? I said no. Something as pointless as this game can never be fun.”</p><p>“Pointless,” Neil echoed. “But you have real talent.”</p><p>“Flattery is uninteresting and gets you nowhere.”</p><p>“I’m just stating facts. You’re selling yourself short. You could be something if only you’d try.”</p><p>Andrew’s smile was small and cold. “You be something. Kevin says you’ll be a champion. Four years and you’ll go pro. Five years and you’ll be Court. He promised Coach. He promised the school board. He argued until they signed off on you. Of course, your brother didn’t get the same treatment and Kevin doesn’t care about what happens to him.”</p><p>“He—what?” Neil stared at him, blood rushing in his ears as he tried to make sense of Andrew’s words. Andrew had to be lying to him; Kevin had never said anything positive to Neil about his playing, he could barely stand to be on the same court as him. What good did it do Andrew to say such obvious lies? Was he trying to rile Neil up?</p><p>“Then Kevin finally got the okay to sign you and you hit the ground running,” Andrew said. “Curious that a man with so much potential, who has so much fun, who could ‘be something’ wouldn’t want any of that. Why is that?”</p><p>If Andrew was telling the truth, then Kevin definitely knew who Neil was. Maybe Kevin remembered him after all and was saying whatever he had to in order to recruit Neil. But if that was true, how much did Kevin know? Who did he think Alex was? He couldn’t possibly know about him, but what other explanation was there for Kevin’s persistence. </p><p>“You’re lying,” Neil said at last because he needed that to be the truth. “Kevin hates me.”</p><p>“Or you hate him,” Andrew said. “I can’t decide. Your loose ends aren’t adding up.”</p><p>“I’m not a maths problem.”</p><p>“But I’ll still solve you.”</p><p>Neil turned away without another word. Kevin was gathering the balls, finished with practice. When Kevin started for the door, Andrew moved behind Neil and Alex. Neil heard cloth rustle as Andrew stood, and Andrew’s shoes tapped quietly on the stairs as he came down to the inner court. </p><p>“You are a conundrum,” Andrew said.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“No, thank you,” Andrew said as he slipped past Neil without a look back. “I need a new toy to play with.”</p><p>“No, you don’t. Neil isn’t a toy. Don’t mess with us Andrew Minyard.”</p><p>“Or what?”</p><p>“Just don’t.”</p><p>“Alex leave it,” Neil said.</p><p>Kevin had his helmet off as soon as the court door closed behind him. He looked right past Andrew to Neil, ignoring Alex. Neil stared back at him, looking for the truth on Kevin’s face, looking for some reason behind Andrew’s big words. Kevin couldn’t have heard their conversation all the way out on the court, but Neil still expected him to call Neil by his real name.</p><p>Instead Kevin said, “Why are you here?”</p><p>“I wanted to practice.”</p><p>“As if it will help you any.”</p><p>It was rude but it was exactly what Neil needed to hear. Andrew had lied to him. Neil could breathe a little easier as he watched Kevin set the bucket of balls on the ground at his feet. Kevin set his racquet and helmet on the home bench to undo his gloves and arm guards. Andrew took them as Kevin peeled them off, tucking the gloves under his arm and looping his fingers through the straps of the guards. He snagged Kevin’s helmet by the safety grating across the front and watched Kevin collect his racquet again. </p><p>“Andrew?” Kevin asked. </p><p>“Ready already,” Andrew said, and started for the locker room. </p><p>Neil didn’t watch them leave. He sat on the home bench and was joined by Alex. Together they stared at the court, listening to the door close behind Kevin and Andrew. Neil reached over and picked a ball out of the bucket, turning it over and over in his fingers.</p><p>“Court,” Neil whispered, then gave himself a violent shake.</p><p>“Neil,” Alex said quietly.</p><p>“Yeah,” Neil swallowed.</p><p>“I want this. Not Court. To stay.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Neil squeezed the ball until it ached. He wanted it too. Mentally he retracted their steps backwards, he went to Arizona, to the Coach who sent out his file hoping Neil could get away from whatever issues he thought Neil was having back in Millport. He went across Nevada, where Alex suggested they call Uncle Stuart and tell him about California. Neil had been reminded of his mother telling him to never even think about calling for help – she hadn’t wanted Neil anywhere near the mob. He remembered the sandy beach under the moonlight, and the way his mother had given up fighting, her breaths in tune to the waves hitting the shore until it finally stopped. Neither of the twins had realised she was dying after being injured by their father in Seattle, her heavy breathing filling the car all the way through Oregon. She must have known she wouldn’t survive but had kept quiet about it. Neil had wanted to take her to a hospital, but she drove them onto a beach instead. They stopped six feet from the tide, and she made the boys repeat every promise she’d ever dragged out of them: don’t look back, don’t slow down, and don’t trust anyone. Be anyone but themselves, and never be anyone for too long. </p><p>By the time Neil understood she was saying goodbye, it was too late.</p><p>She had died, and Neil had let himself cry. She had been his anchor for his entire life and then she was gone. The only person he had left in the whole world was his younger brother whom he had only met a few years before. How were they supposed to survive, to keep outrunning his father’s men, when he felt this untethered? </p><p>Neil could still feel her fingers digging into his arm, and the memory left him shaking all over. Alex had tried to pull her from the seat, but the sound of her dried blood ripping off the vinyl like Velcro had made Neil stop him. </p><p>They burned the car instead, using every emergency can of petrol they could find in the back of the car, so it’d scorch her down to the bone. Once the flames were dying out, Neil pulled her cooling bones from the car, put them in her backpack, and buried her two miles down the beach. By the time he returned to the highway with Alex, he was numb with shock, and he lasted another day before he fell to his knees at the roadside and puked his guts out. Alex tried to comfort him through it, and they made their way to San Francisco. They only stayed there a day before setting off for Millport. They took it one step and one mile and one day at a time because anything else was too much for him to handle in his grief. </p><p>Neil stared at the court in front of him and thought about why Wymack’s contracts, Kevin’s lofty ambitions, and Andrew’s words meant nothing in the end. Neil and Alex would run until they died and playing Exy for a year at Palmetto wouldn’t change that. It wasn’t something people like the twins got to do. They were nothing, and they always would be. Neil would take and enjoy what he could, but sooner or later he would have to wake up from this dream and walk away. Wanting anything more than that would just make it harder to leave behind. </p><p>He dropped the ball back into the bucket and went up to the locker room, Alex in tow. After making sure Kevin and Andrew were gone, they changed into their uniforms and headed to the court for drills. Then, Neil tried shooting on the empty goal with Alex playing backliner until they wore themselves out. When they were finally done and cleaned everything up, it was after dawn. The twins were both too tired to go back to Wymack’s, so they showered and dressed, and each fell asleep on the Foxes’ couches.</p><p> </p><p>Neil woke up around noon to find Alex still asleep. He gently called out his name, jolting him awake, and they headed back to the apartment. Neil’s keys got them into the building, but Wymack’s door was unlocked again. Neil considered bringing up Wymack’s lax security with the coach and then forgot all about it. Even with the door a couple of inches open he could her furious voices arguing. Neil put his ear to the crack and held his breath, straining to make out the words.</p><p>“Damn it, Kevin. I said sit down!”</p><p>“I won’t!” Kevin shot back. If Wymack hadn’t said his name already, Neil wouldn’t have recognised his voice. Kevin’s voice was twisted with fear and panic. “How could you let him do this?”</p><p>“I don’t have any say in this and you know it. Hey!”</p><p>There was a hard thud as bodies hit the wall, and Neil and Alex took advantage of the struggle to slip inside. Alex closed the door as quietly as he could, but his stealth was unneeded. It sounded like Wymack and Kevin were knocking over everything Wymack owned, and Neil winced at the sound of shattering glass. </p><p>“Look at me,” Wymack demanded. “Look at me, god damn you, and breathe.”</p><p>“I warned Andrew he was going to come for me. I told him!”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. You signed a contract with me.”</p><p>“He could pay off my scholarship in a heartbeat. You know he would. He’d pay you off and take me home and I—I can’t go back there. I can’t, I can’t, I won’t, I—I have to go. I have to go. I should go now, before he has to come for me. Maybe he’ll forgive me if I go back. If I make him hunt me down any more than I already have he’ll kill me for sure.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Wymack said. “You’re not going anywhere.”</p><p>“I can’t tell Riko no!”</p><p>“Then don’t say a word,” Wymack said. “Keep your mouth shut and let me and Andrew do the talking. Yes, Andrew. Don’t tell me you forgot about that psycho. I’ve got Betsy’s number on speed dial. Want me to put you through to her office so you can talk to him? Want me to tell him you’re thinking about going back?”</p><p>Silence followed that. Neil glanced at his brother and waited, holding his breath, until Wymack spoke again. He was quieter this time, but concern made his voice more gruff than comforting. </p><p>“I’m not letting you go back there,” Wymack said. “Nothing says I have to. Your contract says you belong to me. He can send us all the money he wants, but you have to sign off on it before it means anything, and you’re not going to. Okay? You let me and Andrew worry about Riko fuck-face. You worry about getting your game and team where they need to be. You promised me you could get us past the fourth match this year.”</p><p>“That was before,” Kevin said, miserable. “This is now.”</p><p>“The ERC is giving us until June before they break the news. They saw how many security issues we had over your transfer, so they’re waiting until everyone’s here where I can keep an eye on them. I told you because you need to know, but I need you to keep it from Andrew until then. Tell me you can see Andrew today and not completely freak out.”</p><p>“Andrew will figure it out. He’s not stupid.”</p><p>“Then you have to be the better liar,” Wymack said in a hard voice. “The ERC is looking for a reason to take him away from us, and you know they won’t give him back. Then where will you be?”</p><p>They were quiet for so long Neil thought they might be done. Finally, Kevin said, “Give me your phone.”</p><p>“If you think I’m going to let you use my phone to call him, you—”</p><p>“Jean,” Kevin cut in. “I have to call Jean. I have to hear him say it.”</p><p>Apparently, that was an acceptable compromise, because Wymack stopped arguing. Neil looked over his shoulder, wondering if he and Alex should make a break for it. He didn’t know what was going on, but it had to be awful if it’d brought Kevin this far off his condescending perch. He was debating how quietly he could slip out the door when Kevin spoke. Kevin’s bleak tone brought Neil up short, as did the French Kevin was speaking. </p><p>“Tell me it isn’t true,” Kevin said. “Tell me he didn’t.”</p><p>Neil couldn’t hear the answer, the sharp slap of the phone snapping shut again said it wasn’t the one Kevin wanted. The couch creaked under someone’s body weight and Neil imagined Kevin sinking onto the cushion in despair.</p><p>“Wait here,” Wymack said, and a few seconds later he stepped into the hallway. He started a little when he saw the twins at the end of the hallway but said nothing. Neil watched as he disappeared into the kitchen. He recognised the sound of Wymack’s liquor cabinet by now, the click of the lock and the soft clink of the glass doors. Wymack returned with a bottle of vodka and dropped it off with Kevin. </p><p>“Drink,” he said from out of sight. “I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Wymack came back to the hallway. Neil pointed over his shoulder at the door in a question. Wymack followed Neil and Alex out of the apartment and he closed the door behind him. Neil looked down the hall for stray eaves droppers, but the other doors were closed. </p><p>“I’m the only one on the floor,” Wymack said. “They built this complex around the same time we started construction on the Foxhole Court. Thought our team would be something and people would want to live in the area to be close to the stadium for games. Then we couldn’t perform, so the apartments didn’t fill. The lower floors are pretty full, and the middle floors get rented out during football season, but top two floors are pretty bare. And no, you can’t break into any of them, so don’t even think about it.”</p><p>Alex bristled at the accusation. “Thanks Coach,” he said dryly.</p><p>“Shut it Josten,” Wymack said. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone else until June. How much did you two hear?”</p><p>“Kevin’s having a nervous breakdown,” Alex said. “I don’t know why.”</p><p>“Edgar Allen put in a transfer request with the ERC and it was approved this morning. They’re part of the south-eastern district effective June 1st.”</p><p>It took a minute for Wymack’s words to make sense. When it clicked, Neil’s stomach bottomed out. It’d been hard enough facing Kevin in Arizona. How could Neil risk meeting Riko too? Just because Kevin didn’t remember Neil didn’t mean Riko wouldn’t either. Neil didn’t want to find out the hard way if Riko had the better memory of the two. </p><p>“That’s impossible,” Neil said. </p><p>“Not really. They’re the only NCAA Exy team in West Virginia, so it was as easy as a vote and a couple signatures.”</p><p>“That’s impossible,” Neil said again. “We can’t play the Ravens. What sane board pits the best and worst teams against each other?”</p><p>“One that knows there’s a lot to gain from it,” Wymack said. “Kevin’s transfer created a lot of backlash, but it also generated a lot of new interest in Exy. The ERC wants to follow it through to the natural conclusion: Kevin and Riko’s reunion on the court, but this time as rivals for the first time ever. It doesn’t matter who wins. They know what publicity and funding they can score with such a move.”</p><p>“I can’t play against Riko,” Neil said. “I’m not ready.”</p><p>“Riko isn’t your problem Neil,” Alex said. “I’m in defence. I’m even less ready than you.”</p><p>“Leave Riko to Matt,” Wymack said. “Your problems are everyone else.”</p><p>“Can’t you protest?” Neil said. “They’re setting us up for a match everyone knows we can’t win.”</p><p>“I could, but it won’t do any good,” Wymack said. “The ERC doesn’t do take-backs. Especially when it means spurning a Moriyama. There’s something you two need to know about the Moriyamas, but I didn’t want to have this conversation with you yet. I wanted to you both to be settled a bit more, or at least hope you’d get to know the team better before I dropped this on you. Now that the ERC is forcing my hand, I don’t have a lot of choices.</p><p>What I’m going to tell you is an open secret. That is, we know it,” he waved a finger in a circle, likely meaning the Foxes, “but no one outside our team does. It has to stay that way no matter what, do you understand? People could get hurt if this gets out. People could die. Is that clear?”</p><p>“Yes Coach,” the twins replied.</p><p>Wymack folded his arms across his chest. “Do you know why Kevin came to Palmetto State?”</p><p>“He broke his hand,” Neil said. “He couldn’t play, so he transferred here as an assistant coach. I assumed he was following Andrew.”</p><p>“I brought him here,” Wymack said. “He showed up at my hotel room at the winter banquet with his hand a bloody mess. He didn’t want us to notify the Ravens or take him to a hospital, so Abby bandaged him up as best she could, and I put him o the bus back to South Carolina with us.”</p><p> “That doesn’t make sense,” Neil said. “How’d he get from the ski resort to your hotel?”</p><p>“He wasn’t in the mountains,” Wymack said.</p><p>“Then how’d he break his hand?” Alex said.</p><p>“First things first, it wasn’t an accident. The ERC had an end-of-year meeting a few days before the south-eastern district’s winter banquet. The NCAA advisors got everyone talking about Riko and Kevin. They had some concerns about the season, they said. They were sure Riko was holding Kevin back, that Kevin was selling himself short so as not to outshine Riko on the court. They wanted to know if it was Coach Moriyama’s doing. In response Moriyama pitted Riko and Kevin against each other.</p><p>“Riko won,” Wymack said, “but I’m thinking he didn’t get it fair and square. If he had, maybe things would be different. As soon as Coach Moriyama dismissed them for the night Riko broke Kevin’s hand.”</p><p>It was like getting punched in the gut. “What?”</p><p>Wymack dragged his thumb along the back of his hand, tracing the path of Kevin’s injury. “Kevin doesn’t talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn’t the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away. So much for family, hm?”</p><p>“I don’t really believe in family,” Neil said. </p><p>“Neither,” agreed Alex.</p><p>“Neither do I,” said Wymack. </p><p>He meant it. Neil finally understood that look Wymack sent him in Millport, that perfect understanding that undid Neil’s defences. Neil searched his face, looking for the story behind that exhaustion. Whatever broke Wymack happened so long ago he wasn’t even bitter over it anymore, but he was definitely still cracked if he poured so much time into the Foxhole Court.</p><p>“Why doesn’t anyone else know what Riko did?” Neil asked.</p><p>“Because Riko is a Moriyama,” Wymack said tiredly. “This is where it starts getting messy.”</p><p>He thought for a minute, then held up his index fingers. “The Moriyama family is broken in half: the main family and the branch family. The main consists of the first-born sons and the branch is for everyone else. Coach Moriyama – Tetsuji – heads the branch family and his older brother Kengo heads the main. Kengo has two sons, Ichirou and Riko. Because Ichirou was born first, he stayed with Kengo in the main family. Riko was born second, so Tetsuji became his legal guardian. Follow?”</p><p>“I think so. Alex?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“The families are estranged,” Wymack said. “Kengo and the main family are up in New York City, where Kengo is CEO of an international trading company. One day he’ll pass the business to Ichirou. Tetsuji and Riko get a kickback of the profits, but they’re considered unimportant and have no say in any business decisions. That’s how Tetsuji had the freedom to study in Japan and develop Exy. So long as he doesn’t do anything to damage the family’s reputation, he is free to do what he likes, and what he likes is to create the most awful and powerful team in the nation. This is all public knowledge.”</p><p>Neil looked past Wymack at the door, thinking of Kevin’s freak-out. “And the truth?”</p><p>“The real Moriyama family business is murder.”</p><p>Neil shot a quick look at him. Wymack held up a hand to ward off any questions, his expression grim. “The Moriyamas are an immigrated yakuza group. Do you know what the yakuza are? They’re Japanese mafia. Kengo’s father brought the group to America a couple decades ago and set up shop up north. I don’t know what all they’re involved in and I don’t want to know. I don’t know how much even Kevin knows, since he’s attached to Riko and the branch family, but Kevin knows the main family uses Raven games as a cover for big meetings. So many people go in and out of Edgar Allen that it’s a convenient way to bring in their far-flung contacts. They’ve got VIP lounges along the upper floors where they make deals.”</p><p>“They’re a gang,” Neil said slowly. </p><p>Wymack nodded, watching him carefully and waiting to see how Neil took it. Neil barely noticed the attention. Neil was thinking back to the last time he’d seen Kevin and Riko together. He remembered scrimmaging and arguing footwork with them. Their game came to an abrupt halt when they were called upstairs. If Neil closed his eyes now, he could remember every detail of the room they went to, from its floor-to-ceiling tinted windows to the heavy conference table dominating it. The floor was carpeted, but someone had laid down a tarp on top of it to catch all the blood. </p><p>Neil finally knew where he’d been and why. He’d never understood how they went from Exy practices to murder or why Kevin and Riko were there too. But if the Moriyamas were a gang, it made sense. Neil’s father worked out of Baltimore and held the eastern ports with an iron grip. His territory’s western border would’ve ended at West Virginia. In that sense he was Tetsuji Moriyama’s neighbour, and that would have brought him to Kengo’s attention. Neil’s father and Riko’s father were business associates; that’s why Neil was allowed to practice at Edgar Allen’s stadium. </p><p>Neil watched his brother, and if the news affected him at all. The non-reaction from Alex was out-of-character, which was suspicious. Neil wondered if his brother had already known this about the Moriyamas, and then his thoughts drifted into the more serious territory of why he hadn’t told him. Alex had grown up as a mobster-in-training, and he with that came knowledge of other major criminal families. A Hatford daughter married to a Wesninski wasn’t something to be ignored. Alex would also have to have known about the Moriyama-Wesninski ties then too, so why he hadn’t told Neil was a mystery. Neil needed answers from him, but it would have to wait until later. </p><p>Wymack interpreted their silence as fear. “I’m telling you this because everyone else here already knows the story from Kevin, but don’t worry about the yakuza. Like I said, Kengo and Ichirou mostly keep to New York and couldn’t give a flying fuck what Tetsuji and Riko do. The only way it’s relevant to us is explaining why Tetsuji and Riko are violent and rotten. They have a lot of power behind their name and a rather twisted view of their place in the world. And we happen to have something of theirs.”</p><p>“Kevin,” Neil said.</p><p>“I’d hoped they’d throw him away,” Wymack said. “Everyone said Kevin would never play again. Edgar Allen had to release Kevin from his school contract because of the severity of his injuries and Tetsuji didn’t argue when I took Kevin on as an assistant coach. I thought they were ready to let him go. But Tetsuji didn’t take Kevin in out of the goodness of his heart. He raised Kevin to be a star. He put a lot of time and money into Kevin’s development on the court. As far as Tetsuji is concerned, Kevin is valuable property. Any profit Kevin makes is rightfully the Moriyamas’.”</p><p>“But Kevin’s handicapped.”</p><p>“He’s still a name.”</p><p>Neil’s head was spinning as he tried to sort it all out. “He wants Kevin to transfer back?”</p><p>“If he wanted Kevin to transfer, he’d just say so,” Wymack said.</p><p>“Kevin wouldn’t really go back,” Neil said, disbelieving. “Not after what Riko did.”</p><p>Wymack gave him a pitying look. “Tetsuji never formally adopted Kevin. Do you know why? Moriyamas don’t believe in outsiders or equals. Tetsuji took Kevin in and took over his training, but he also gave Kevin to Riko – literally. Kevin isn’t human to them. He’s a project, He’s a pet, and it’s Riko’s name on his leash. The fact that he ran away is a miracle. If Tetsuji called tomorrow and told him to come home, Kevin would. He knows what Tetsuji would do to him if he refused. He’d be too afraid to say no.”</p><p>Neil thought he’d be sick. He didn’t want to hear anymore of this; he’d already heard too much. He wanted to run until it all started making sense in his head, or at least until the ice left his veins. “Then why go through all the trouble of changing districts?”</p><p>“The Moriyamas are ready to cash in on their investment,” Wymack said. “No one honestly expects Kevin to make a comeback, but he signed with us to play. His arrogance is inspiring, and this year he’s still a star. If he can’t keep up and perform, the fans and critics will move on and forget about him. Tetsuji thinks he’ll burn out, so he has to seize the moment now.</p><p>“Our teams are going to make a fortune this season. People are going to be hounding us every step of the way and gambling on our games. There’ll be TV spots and merchandise and all kinds of publicity stunts. Tetsuji is pitting Riko and Kevin against each other knowing how it’ll end. He’ll put it all on the table and let his Ravens destroy us on the court. Rake in the winnings, establish Riko as the superior player forever, and relegate Kevin to the has-beens.”</p><p>Neil swallowed hard. “What if Coach Moriyama told him to stop playing?”</p><p>Wymack was quiet for an endless minute, then said, “Kevin only had the strength to leave because Riko destroyed his hand. That was finally one injustice too many. Because of that I’d like to think Kevin would defy Tetsuji, but it’s just as likely we’d never see him with a racquet again. But the day Kevin stop playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn’t raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won’t survive it.”</p><p>“We can’t win against them,” Alex said. “We’re the worst team in the nation.”</p><p>“Then it’s time to stop being the worst,” Wymack said. “It’s time to fly.”</p><p>“You don’t really think we can,” Neil said.”</p><p>“If you didn’t think you could, what are you doing here? You wouldn’t have signed the contract if you’d already given up on yourself.” Wymack half-turned away. “I need to make sure Kevin’s not cutting his wrists open in there. It’s probably best if he doesn’t see you two right now. I can call Abby to come get you if you want to hang out with the others, but I need you to keep this a secret from your teammates until June. I need time to figure out how we’re going to handle this season.”</p><p>“We won’t say anything,” Alex said. </p><p>Neil nodded in agreements. “And don’t worry about me. I’ll go for a run for something.”</p><p>Wymack looked at Alex. “You?”</p><p>Alex thought for a few seconds, then glanced back at their coach. “Could you call Abby for me? I don’t want to distract Neil from his running or anything.” </p><p>Neil glared at him, but Alex shook it off. </p><p>“Alright,” said Wymack. “Kevin should be out of here by four. That’s when Andrew’s done with Betsy, so Nicky will pick him up on his way over to her office.”</p><p>Neil nodded and left, taking the stairs back down to the ground floor. </p><p>Neil thought it would be awful if Kevin remembered the boy with the murderous father, but this was worse. This was Kevin maybe remembering that boy when Kevin belonged to an equally horrific family. Neil didn't remember the Moriyamas, but they'd definitely remember him if they'd done business with his father. The Butcher of Baltimore wasn't a man easily forgotten. Neither was his wife, who'd stolen five million dollars the night she ran away with the Butcher's only known son. The Butcher turned his people inside-out for years hunting them down. All of his contacts would have heard of it. It would have been impossible for the Moriyamas not to know.</p><p>Somewhere the ERC was reworking and finalizing a schedule that put the Moriyamas in Neil's near future. Neil and Alex would quit before that match. They had no choice. They'd play up until their game against the Ravens and then run. If they were lucky, the match would come at the end of the fall season so they wouldn't jeopardize the line too much by taking off. It was stupid and suicidal to stay even that long. Neil knew they should go now, before they met their teammates or the ERC publicised their names or they ever stepped on a court with Kevin Day. It'd seemed an acceptable risk before, since none of Nathan’s people were into sports. The chance of one of them seeing him on TV during a match was negligible so long as Kevin didn't figure him out and give him away. Now that he knew who the Moriyamas were and knew they would be watching him, it made absolutely no sense to stay.</p><p>Neil had grown up wondering why Kevin and Riko were in that room eight years ago and how they'd overcome it. He'd wondered why their luck and circumstances were so different that they could become international stars while Neil's life spiralled so quickly out of control. He'd hated and worshipped them all his life, jealous of their successes and desperate for them to excel. Now it seemed he'd been wrong all along; Kevin hadn't escaped either. No matter what they did or who they became, maybe they never would. Neil shoved the stairwell door open so forcefully it banged against the wall and was running before he was even halfway across the lobby. He hit full speed before he reached the street, going so fast he was nearly falling over, but he couldn't outrun his thoughts.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. alex's pov</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex and Neil meet three new Foxes after moving into Fox Tower. Neil's stalker binder gets found by Andrew Minyard. Neil gets pinned to a wall.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi omg i havent written since like june or something. this is from alex's pov so pls enjoy. i was planning on rewriting the first four chapters so tell me in the comments if you like his narrative voice and i might end up doing that</p><p>okok there's a tw for self-harm in the past, nothing serious just mention of scars and reasoning behind it<br/>also the mary abusing her children stuff and general thinking about the not-niceness from nathan and the moriyamas</p><p>tell me if i'm missing any warnings okay?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Foxes weren’t scheduled to start their practices until Monday the 10th of June, but they were required to move onto campus the day before, so they had time to get settled in the athletes’ dormitory. Alex found their estimated arrival times on a list hanging on Wymack’s fridge. The first of them wasn’t expected to arrive until two in the afternoon and the last not until five. Alex was super excited about them coming, they were like D-list celebrities already, and just wow if that wasn’t something he thought about constantly. People would know his name when it was announced, and <i>fuck, no wait</i>, that was an especially bad idea. </p><p>He hoped the others were different from Kevin, whose stress from the Ravens’ transfer was making him unbearable to be around. How on earth had Andrew not figured out there was something wrong? Wasn’t he supposed to be some kind of bodyguard/confidante/friend/maybe boyfriend? They had a vibe, okay. In the two weeks between the ERC’s vote and official summer practices, Kevin was so hard to tolerate that even Neil was sick of him – and Neil idolised Kevin. Neil had gone from waxing lyrical to cursing his name, and to be honest, it was good to have someone to bitch with. Alex had considered just punching Kevin, but he didn’t think it was worth facing a feral Andrew.</p><p>Now, he only had to survive a few more hours. </p><p>He, Neil, and their duffel bags caught a ride with Wymack to the stadium, where Wymack collected a package of dorm keys for the team. Alex took his and the paperwork regarding appropriate dormitory behaviour. He skimmed over it before signing all the dotted lines. Wymack traded their papers for a school catalogue each. They had missed the athletes’ early registration window because they signed so late, so they’d have to register with the rest of the freshmen class in August. Alex didn’t want to declare his major just yet, so he decided to leave it until he needed to submit the forms. There were so many! How was he supposed to choose? It wasn’t like it was something he’d thought about back in Millport, or at any point on the run. </p><p>He took his catalogue to the Foxes’ lounge and sat on the floor cross-legged, at the foot of the chair Neil curled up in. They flipped through their catalogues, discussing their options. </p><p>“Whatcha thinking of having as your major?” Alex asked.</p><p>“I think I might take a language,” Neil said.</p><p>“Another one? Spanish?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>As a child, Alex had been taught Urdu by his family, but he couldn’t remember it at all due to a lack of practice. He’d learnt German and Polish while on the run in Europe, and French in Canada. Alex didn’t want to spend the rest of his life as a runaway, so in turn, he didn’t want to choose a language major. Plus, it wasn’t like he enjoyed them, and he definitely wasn’t particularly good at them either. He started flicking through the pages like a flipbook and stopping randomly. Each page landed on something else, and it was never anything he felt could keep his interest for the whole year. </p><p>He considered choosing a major that could be useful when he returned to the Hatfords, but there weren’t many classes that could help him – not unless they had Mobsters for Dummies or Murder 101 as available lectures. </p><p>Eventually he decided on Computing Science. Alex had always been fascinated by hackers and learning about software and programming seemed like something he could get behind. Alex wasted somewhere close to an hour looking up class times and figuring out ideal schedules. As soon as Alex thought he had a couple of classes nailed down, he found a timing conflict and had to backtrack and start over. The problem was how much time he needed for practices. Trying to fit all his lectures and Exy practices together was proving difficult, and he couldn’t exactly get help from Neil since this was the first time either of them were doing this. He’d probably ask Nicky later. When the school year started the Foxes would meet for two hours in the morning and for five hours in the afternoon. Alex also needed to fit in the five weekly hours of tutoring time Palmetto required of all their athletes. Alex saw that Neil hadn’t finished either, but he didn’t think they had any classes together. </p><p>Alex checked the clock, saw they still had about an hour to kill, and considered taking a walk around campus to take a break. He’d just gotten up when Abby walked in. </p><p>Alex had seen Abby a quite a few during the summer, partly when Wymack was feeling too lazy to cook and wanted Abby to do it for him. He could tell there was definitely something more than friendship between them, but it wasn’t really any of his business, so he didn’t think about it much. Sometimes when he wanted to just hang out with Nicky, he went over, and Abby had been at home. Alex had small-talked with her on occasion, but he’d never sought out her company specifically. Neil talked to her even less because he avoided Andrew’s lot as much as possible. </p><p>“Hey boys,” Abby said. “You’re here early.”</p><p>“Coach won’t let us into Fox Tower until Matt gets here, so we’ve been doing our timetables,” Alex said. “I honestly don’t know how people get it done so fast.”</p><p>“Mine took hours, so practice? Perhaps? It’s been longer than I want to admit since I was in college.” Abby checked her watch. “Since you’ve got time to spare, we might as well get your physicals over with.”</p><p>“Physicals?”</p><p>“Just a general check-up: weight, height, all that good stuff. We have to do it today instead of tomorrow because there’s bloodwork involved. I can’t let you two onto the court until you’ve slept it off. When’s the last time either of you saw a doctor?”</p><p>“Ages ago. Can’t really remember.”</p><p>“Don’t like doctors?”</p><p>“I guess I just forgot.”</p><p>“Alright, one of you has to go first,” Abby said, unlocking the medical room door and pushing it open. She flicked on the light on her way inside.</p><p>“I’ll go,” offered Alex. “That okay Neil?”</p><p>Neil nodded. Alex left his duffel bag with Neil and followed Abby into her office. He sat down on the bed. The first part of Abby’s test was easy like she said it would be. He weighed in and let her run through a series of tests from reflexes to blood pressure. She took two vials of blood from his left arm, labelled them, and locked them in a drawer. Then she motioned at him and said, “Shirt off.”</p><p>Alex hesitated. He wasn’t exactly shy about his scars, but he didn’t want Abby to think he was unstable. They were old, done after he had joined his mum and brother on the run. Alex had been sick and tired of being a runaway, with no purpose and no real support either. Neil had been twitchy and paranoid, and Alex had been unable to really bond with him since they didn’t have anything to talk about. It didn’t help that Mary had banned Exy talk, and Neil had been kept in the dark about the reasons. </p><p>Alex had known since he was five years old that he had a brother. Uncle Stuart had told him about Nathan Wesninski, and how Stuart’s sister Mary had married him. She knew she was having twins, so she’d called Stuart in to take the second son. Nathaniel had been born first, and it was just luck that – even as a baby – he resembled his father. Abram was second, and Mary hadn’t wanted to hold him before he was taken out of the room. Wesninski hadn’t visited his wife in the private clinic, and Abram had been smuggled out of the States. He grew up in England, his features and skin tone making it believed he was Stuart Hatford’s son. In the end, that’s what Abram used as his ‘cover story’. </p><p>Abram was ten when he learned about the Moriyamas. Nathaniel and Mary had just run away from Wesninski, stealing a shit ton of cash, so Stuart and the family had taught Abram about the yakuza family in America. How Nathaniel had almost been left with the second branch, under the care of Tetsuji Moriyama, but more of a pet to his nephew Riko. It would have been a miserable existence, especially because Nathaniel would be property for the rest of his life, never allowed to be anything but.</p><p>Nathaniel and Mary stopped in England, and Abram met them for the first time at thirteen. He wanted to get to know them, and despite Stuart’s protests, Abram had joined them on the run. His younger self had been bored and he hadn’t been allowed to have proper friends in school. His cousins were either much older than him or they lived far away. </p><p>At first, he regretted it; Mary was harsh and unforgiving, often beating them both for small things, claiming it was for the best, only because he messed up, that he deserved it. Alex hadn’t had the same dependency on her that Nathaniel had though. Alex attempted to protect his brother, avoiding punishments himself. It hadn’t been a good life for any of them – but especially difficult to adapt to after living in relative luxury with no childhood trauma. Alex’s mobster training came in handy and he only had a couple of brushes with death, but it was rough. He was thirteen, he wasn’t supposed to be running from his hitman father with his estranged family just because he wanted to get to know his brother. </p><p>Cutting had been a coping mechanism, albeit a shitty one, because he’d seen the scars on his brother’s body and didn’t want to feel like he was taking his own smooth skin for granted. But the need to prove he was real and alive was sometimes overwhelming, and it helped for a period of time. He didn’t need the reminder often – Alex only did it a few times – but they were there, and he couldn’t hide them from Abby. But people didn’t react well to self-harm scars, and he wasn’t naïve enough to believe the team nurse wouldn’t say anything about them.</p><p>Alex looked down at his shoes, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, trying to procrastinate as long as possible. After about a minute, Abby gave in. She put a finger under his chin and lifted his face to look at her. “Alex, I need to check for track marks, and I can’t do that if you keep your shirt on. I work for the Foxes. None of you are okay. Chances are I’ve seen a lot worse than whatever it is you’re hiding. I’m not going to judge you. I’m here to help, remember? I’m your nurse now. That door is closed, and it comes with a lock. What happens in here stays in here.”</p><p>“What about Coach, or Betsy?”</p><p>“This isn’t their business,” Abby said, gesturing between them with her free hand. “I only report to him if I think it’ll affect your performance on the court or if you’re breaking the law, and I need an intervention. With Betsy, I’ll only tell her what you want me to tell her, and if that’s nothing, then I keep quiet. Whatever it is, I want you to know that we’re here for you.”</p><p>He nodded and Abby dropped her hand. Alex quickly pulled his shirt over his head. He knew that what he had wasn’t really that bad, particularly because of what he had seen on Neil. Getting Neil to take off his shirt would be a whole other issue, and nothing would be able to prepare her for that.</p><p>Alex’s scars were simple. He had about ten neat lines on his left flank, and they were completely healed but still visible. There were also 5 on each of his upper thighs, which were in the same condition as the ones on his torso. </p><p>Alex twisted his hands in his shirt and lifted his arms, baring his forearms to her. “Do I have track marks?”</p><p>“Alex—” Abby started.</p><p>“Questions after I’ve put my shirt on. Do I or don’t I?”</p><p>She redirected her attention back to his physical. The second she gave him the okay to put his shirt on again. Alex yanked it over his head. Abby began filling out the rest of her forms, then decided she’d ask him about it. “How old are they?”</p><p>“Few years. I was fourteen.”</p><p>“Any others?”</p><p>“On my thighs. Around the same time.”</p><p>“Can I ask why?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Do you want me to tell Betsy before your mandatory first session?”</p><p>Alex shrugged. “Sure, I don’t care. I don’t feel like doing it anymore, so it doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“Okay. We’re done. If you could send Neil in here that would be great.”</p><p>“No problem. Also, just tell him the same things you told me and you’ll both be fine.” Alex grabbed his duffel and left her office, ignoring Abby’s confused expression.</p><p>He dropped back onto the couch he was on before, then looked at Neil and told him it was his turn. Alex flicked through his catalogue again, decided he didn’t want to spend any more time on his conflicting timetable, then took out his phone and started chucking it up and down, flipping it each time. He turned on his phone and considered texting Nicky. They’d exchanged numbers after about a week of chatting, and since they didn’t stay right near each other, the pair had mutually agreed to continue their conversations over text. Often, they traded stories, Nicky told him all about his life in Germany with Erik and in return Alex gave him anecdotes from Millport. Sometimes Alex even told him things one of his cousins had done and changed the name to Neil. There was also the senseless celebrity gossip, discussing their relatives (read: Nicky bitching about how boring his cousins were, and Alex complaining about Neil’s one-track Exy mind), and organising trips to the mall. </p><p><b>alex:</b> do any of you actually see betsy apart from on the mandatory sessions?</p><p><b>nicky h.:</b> andrew does coz that’s part of his parole, i’ve seen her a few times, idk about any1 else</p><p><b>alex:</b> ok thx</p><p><b>nicky h.:</b> dw, she’s great!!! i’m sure u will love her!!! &lt;3&lt;3</p><p>Alex sprawled out on the couch and started playing the snake game on his phone until Neil shot out of Abby’s office. Alex glanced up at his brother and asked, “Where’s the fire?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Neil said.</p><p>“You ok?”</p><p>“Let’s just go.”</p><p>Alex shoved his phone into his bag, hooked the strap over his shoulder, and followed Neil down the hall, who probably had every intention of waiting the rest of the afternoon in the inner court. They made it as far as the foyer when a door opened behind them. The twins hesitated at the exit and looked back as someone stepped into the lounge at the other end of the hall.</p><p>Matthew Boyd seemed like he could win a fight with one hit. He was well over six foot, and his hair had been gelled up into spikes which made him look even taller. Matt crossed the hall and put a hand out to Alex, who shook it. Alex noticed the faded track marks on his arms but didn’t say anything. </p><p>“Matt Boyd,” he said, moving on to shake Neil’s hand too. “I’m a junior this year, and I’m the Foxes’ starting backliner. No one told me which one of you is which so you’re gonna have to tell me yourselves.”</p><p>“Alex Josten, officially I’m your goalie sub,” Alex said.</p><p>“And unofficially?”</p><p>“Defensive dealer or backliner sub. But severely unpractised so I’m practically useless at it. Neil’s the striker sub.”</p><p>Just then, Wymack came out of his office to hurl a keyring at Matt’s head. The jangling got Matt’s attention and he turned just in time to get smacked in the cheek with the keys. Matt snagged the ring as it fell and made at face at his coach.</p><p>“Jesus, Coach, good to see you too? When did we move past a simple ‘hello’?”</p><p>“I could say the same for you, stomping past my open door like that without saying so much as a by-your-leave,” Wymack said.</p><p>“You looked busy.”</p><p>“I’m always busy. That’s never stopped you pricks from interrupting me before.”</p><p>Alex tried to hold back a laugh and was given a look. Matt shrugged and looked around. “Where are the monsters?”</p><p>“Probably razing Fox Tower to the ground as we speak. You met the twins?”</p><p>“Wait you two are twins? You look nothing like each other.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Alex said. “We get that a lot.”</p><p>“Sorry man, just saying. I can’t believe you both put up with Coach this long. How did you survive?”</p><p>“We weren’t around much. I split my time between hanging out with Nicky and getting my skills up.”</p><p>“They were training with Kevin and Andrew every day,” Wymack said.</p><p>“Oh god,” Matt said with feeling. “You’re awful, Coach.”</p><p>“That part was horrible,” Alex said. “Does Kevin treat everyone like the dirt on his shoes?”</p><p>“Kevin doesn’t let his shoes get dirty,” Matt said, and Alex whistled lowly. </p><p>“Welcome back, Matt,” Abby said, stepping in her office doorway and propping her shoulder against the doorframe. “Did you have a safe drive?”</p><p>“Safe enough, but I drank so much coffee I probably won’t sleep for a week.” Matt looked at the twins again. “Already settled.”</p><p>“Coach wouldn’t let us move in without you,” Alex said.</p><p>“Way to keep them waiting,” Wymack said. “Take them and get out of here.”</p><p>“Come on,” Matt said. “I’ll swing you past Coach’s place to get your things.”</p><p>“This is it. We haven’t got round to buying anything else, and our mom wouldn’t let us bring anything else,” Alex said.</p><p>Matt looked at their individual bags, a look of disbelief on his face. “That’s a joke, right? You should see how much I crammed into my truck – and how much I had to leave behind – and you expect to last a year with one bag? That thing have magical expanding powers I don’t know about or something?” </p><p>“I wish. We’re gonna go shopping sometime this week, or maybe I can just send Neil. I know if I go, I’ll buy a fuck ton of useless stuff and forget the essentials.”</p><p>“As long as you both get new clothes,” Wymack said. “I’m sick of seeing you in the same clothes over and over. Just let me know when you’re going, and I’ll give you the p-card so we can expense it.”</p><p>Alex was mildly offended, but he felt the same. Neil had an atrocious fashion sense, and their current situation hadn’t given Alex the opportunity to go to any good shops recently. “We do have money you know.”</p><p>“Good for you,” Wymack said. “I thought you three were leaving.”</p><p>“Didn’t miss you at all,” Matt said, but there was no heat in his voice. “Let’s go.”</p><p>Matt’s truck was parked two spaces down from Wymack’s and Abby’s cars, a monstrous blue thing that looked like it could eat a hole through the stadium without slowing. Alex definitely preferred Andrew’s car to this. Matt hadn’t been joking about how many things he had brought: the truck bed was stuffed with furniture and only a dozen taut cords kept anything from falling out. The backseats in the extended cab were also full of suitcases and crates. Matt took a backpack out of the passenger seat and tossed it in the back with the rest, but Alex and Neil still had to squish up. The truck came to life with a quiet roar Alex felt more than heard, and the radio blasted to life a half-second later. Matt cut it off, and yanked his door closed.</p><p>“We’re not all bad, just so you know,” Matt said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Dan hated that your first impression of us would be the do-nothings. She was pretty sure you wouldn’t stick around long enough to meet the rest of us. She thought about coming back to campus early to be a buffer, but Coach told her not to bother. Said you had to deal with them eventually.”</p><p>“They’re… interesting,” Alex said. “Well, Nicky’s pretty cool, I haven’t said a word to Aaron, Andrew’s just weird, and Kevin needs to get that stick out of his ass.”</p><p>“Yeah pretty much. Seriously though. If they give you any trouble, just let me know. I’ll kick Kevin’s ass for you.”</p><p>“Thanks, but I think we can handle them.”</p><p>“I thought I could handle them too,” Matt raked a hand through his hair, skewing his spikes every which way. “Andrew made it pretty clear he wasn’t going to be handled by anyone. You change your mind; you know where to find me. My offer’s good through graduation.”</p><p>Alex hoped that he and Neil could handle it alone but having people on their side wouldn’t hurt. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” </p><p>Matt pointed out the windshield. “There it is.”</p><p>Most of Palmetto State’s buildings, offices, and dormitories were inside the giant loop known as Perimeter Road. Fox Tower was one of the few exceptions, but only because a stray hill forced Perimeter to hug the campus green near the clock tower. The hill might have been a nice sport for students to picnic between classes, except someone thought to build the athletes’ dormitory on the top. It was four stories tall and had its own computer lab and carpark. </p><p>The carpark was out back, and Andrew’s GS was the only car parked there. Matt skipped all the lined spaces in favour of pulling up at the kerb. It took all three of them to unload the truck onto the pavement, and the twins waited with the pile while Matt parked. Getting everything inside and up to the third floor was a nightmare, especially since several pieces of furniture wouldn’t fit in the lift. The stairwell was too narrow to make it easy on them, and the handrail kept getting in their way as they tried to turn corners at the landings. It proved more difficult when Neil and Matt were working together to do it, so Neil carried the smaller stuff along with his own duffel bag. </p><p>Their suite was room 321. A kitchenette was off to one side right inside the door and the front room was a spacious sitting room. Four bare desks lined the walls, waiting to be covered in schoolwork and books. A short hallway dead-ended bathroom and branched off into the bedroom. There were two bunk beds, with a chest of drawers at the end of each one. There was only one wardrobe, but hanging dividers hung off the empty pole. </p><p>It was trial and error to make everything fit. Eventually they pushed all the desks to the wall by the window, almost close enough to be touching, so Matt could put his couch against one long wall and a coffee table in the middle of the sitting room. He’d taken the shelves out of his entertainment centre for the drive, but most of the bolts were still in place. It took only a couple of minutes to put it together again, and Matt promptly filled it with a TV and game systems. Alex stayed with him to organise his movies while Neil went to look around because he was boring. </p><p>Alex knew that Neil basically had no childhood, so he had no knowledge of pop culture and no classic growing-up-moments. Even Alex, in all his mobster-in-training glory, had been able to watch Disney movies and have an Xbox. Both of them missed out on the things that teenagers did, no matter how hard Alex had tried to catch up once they were in Millport.</p><p>Matt decided to organise his movies by colour, and then he decided, no, it should be by year of release, and then he changed it again to most to least favourite but that proved too difficult, so they ended up alphabetical. All the while, he chatted with Alex, asking him about random things like his favourite colour (purple, but a dark one, not that bullshit lavender), favourite movie (either 10 Things I Hate About You or the Leo DiCaprio Romeo and Juliet), favourite fox (“uh… the orange ones?” “No, like Foxes foxes. Us.” “Ohhhh. Dan Wilds. For sure. She’s amazing.” “You’re preaching to the choir.”) and if he wanted to hang our later (yes. 100%).</p><p>“I’m heading out to get Dan and Renee from the airport,” Matt said. “Either of you want to come with?”</p><p>“No thanks, we’ve got to run by the store,” Alex said. “Do you care which bed you sleep in?”</p><p>“I’m too tall to sleep up top,” Matt said, “and Seth keeps weird hours, so unless you’ve got a thing against heights, you’ll both have to take top bunk. I’ll be back in an hour or so, and you can hitch a ride with us to the court when the girls are settled. Dan won’t believe you’re okay until she sees you with her own two eyes.”</p><p>“We’ll be back by then, tell her not to worry about us” Alex said.</p><p>“She’ll still worry, the monsters are no joke.”</p><p>“The monsters? Is that what you call Andrew and his band of merry men?”</p><p>That made Matt smile. “Band of merry men?” He laughed. “More like a horde of freaky ass gremlins.” </p><p>They waited until the door was closed and Matt had left before looking at each other. It was a second before Neil spoke. “I put our duffels on our beds.”</p><p>“Okay thanks,” Alex said and watched as his brother started walking laps around the dorm. They didn’t have anywhere safe to store their bags while they went to the shops, so Alex decided on the next best option. “I think you should go by yourself. I’ll look after the stuff; you go buy essentials. You know I’d get carried away.”</p><p>“Alright.” Neil nodded, then went back into the bedroom to get his phone and wallet. “You make sure no one goes through our bags, especially the binder.”</p><p>“Keep your phone on,” Alex reminded him as his brother left the dorm. It was an unfortunate habit of Neil’s, the fact that he never kept his phone on. It was from their time with their mum when phones were never used by anyone except her and keeping their phones on silent was necessary if they didn’t want Wesninski’s men to find them. </p><p>Alex didn’t really know what to do with himself now that Neil was gone. He was saved the trouble of too much boredom by a text from Nicky.</p><p><b>nicky h.:</b> hey!!! just saw neil leaving?!?? u wanna come over?!?!?!?!!</p><p><b>alex:</b> sure ill be right there</p><p>Alex shoved his phone into his back pocket, and realised it was probably a bad idea to go. He’d been entrusted to keep his and Neil’s stuff safe and supervised – going to the cousins’ dorm was not doing that. So, he decided the only logical solution was to hide the binder, despite there not being a safe place to put it. Fuck. Neil would kill him if he left it unattended, but he wasn’t exactly going to visit the cousins’ dorm holding the binder in his hand. That would scream ‘suspicious’. It was such a bad idea for him to go over, Alex knew that, but he wanted to. Like, really wanted to. </p><p>Being a runaway was a fucking inconvenience, even at the best of times. </p><p>He considered calling Neil, but he knew that Neil would automatically say no. Alex didn’t want to be controlled by his brother, and what Neil didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Ten minutes. That’s how long he would stay over at the cousins’ dorm, and then straight back out. No dilly-dallying. Even before he went over, Alex knew that wouldn’t happen. Neither him nor Nicky were the types of people to keep conversation short and succinct. </p><p>Alex looked around the bedroom in the dorm and quickly shoved the binder into the dresser’s bottom drawer. It would have to do. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too long, and Neil would be quick. He hoped to every god out there that no one would find the binder, pressing his fingers to the wood for a second, looking for the courage to walk away, and triple-checked the lock on his way out.</p><p>The next room was the girls’, and the cousins’ room was after that. Nicky was lounging in the doorway. He smiled when he saw Alex. </p><p>“Hey stranger,” Nicky said. “What’d you think of Matt?”</p><p>“He seems pretty cool, definite friend-material,” Alex said.</p><p>“More like boyfriend-material I’d say. It’s a shame he’s dating Dan, or I’d have snatched him up.”</p><p>“Yeah but he’s not on your list cuz he isn’t a celebrity, so I’m assuming Erik wouldn’t be too happy.”</p><p>Nicky laughed brightly, “That is very true. I wouldn’t want to disappoint my husband.” He paused and gestured inside his dorm. “Welcome to our humble abode. Well, we do have our house in Columbia, but this does the job while we’re getting our V.I.E.”</p><p>“V.I.E.?” Alex asked, as he walked into the cousins’ dorm. The layout was a mirror image of his, and the set-up of the lounge wasn’t as different as it could’ve been. There were a few beanbags strewn about in front of the telly, and a sofa as well. They must’ve put in the furniture when he and Neil had been back at the stadium. Alex sat down on one end of the sofa with his legs crossed like he would have if he was sitting on the floor. </p><p>Nicky followed him inside, shutting the door and then dropping dramatically onto the other side of the sofa. “Very Important Education.”</p><p>“Ah. All education is important though.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re one of <i>those.</i>”</p><p>“One of those what?”</p><p>Nicky sighed like Alex was being purposely stupid. He wasn’t. Alex was never purposely stupid. Ok one time he had been purposely stupid but that was back in Millport when he wanted Casey Cooper to help him with his U.S. History work. Though really, the system was more stupid for only teaching one country’s history and that’s what he discussed with C.C. instead of the actual work. That wasn’t relevant. He wasn’t being purposely stupid with Nicky. </p><p>“One of those freaks so obsessed with edumacation that they forget to have a social life. I was getting social life vibes from you, but are you? Are you really?” </p><p>Alex smiled, in that corner-of-the-mouth-raised kind of way. “Yes Nicky, my social life has always been more important to me and my millions of friends,” he said sarcastically. </p><p>Nicky didn’t pick up on it. Alex really needed to work on his other people skills. Spending extended amounts of time with just Neil wasn’t helping. Neil was as social as a brick.</p><p>Ten minutes passed quickly. One of the twins came out of their room, saw Alex, then walked back. Thirty minutes and the other twin walked in the door from outside, locking the door. He started smoking on the desk closest to the window as Alex assumed it was Andrew. Nicky made the decision to call Aaron in to play video games. Thirty-five minutes in and Kevin joined them, but only to sit at one of the desks and read a magazine. They all went still when the door opened and stared at Neil.</p><p>Neil? What the fuck— oh shit. Alex was an idiot. He’d completely forgotten about the time and the binder and—</p><p>Andrew was the first to react. He flicked his cigarette out of the window and smiled. “Try again, Neil. You’re in the wrong room! We already have a Josten here!”</p><p>“I know that. He’s exactly who I need to talk to,” Neil said.</p><p>“Neil—” Alex started.</p><p>Neil switched to Polish, “No. I told you not to leave the room, I told you to look after our stuff, and what did you do? Came over here to hang out with people who we will leave after a year!” He took a breath. “I know you. You’ll get attached and not want to leave and then we’ll get caught. Is that what you want?”</p><p>Alex stared at the ground, shame colouring his cheeks. “No.”</p><p>Neil jerked his chin in acknowledgement. Then, he turned his glare onto Kevin, speaking in French. “Stay out of our things,” he snapped. </p><p>Alex noticed the shell-shocked looks the language and Neil’s furious tone earned, and hoped his brother knew what he was doing. It hit him a second later. One of the cousins had gone through their things and Alex would bet his entire stash of stolen money that it was Andrew. </p><p>He really wanted to intervene in Neil and Kevin’s little French spat, but he trusted his brother’s judgement. Instead, he turned his attention to Nicky. “Did you bring me here just so that Andrew could go through my stuff?”</p><p>“No,” Nicky lied, looking sheepish.</p><p>“Come on Nicky, you don’t have to lie.”</p><p>“Well technically you also lied because I didn’t know you spoke English, French and whatever else that other language that was with Neil,” Nicky pointed out. </p><p>“That is not the same Nicky! Me not telling you what languages I can speak is <i>completely different</i> from you asking me to come over just so your cousin could break into my room.”</p><p>Kevin interrupted their conversation by getting out of his chair so fast that he knocked it over. Alex watched as Neil backed out of the room and slammed the door closed between them. Alex stood up to go after him when Kevin yanked the door open again. He heard the sound of a body being slammed up against a wall and without a second thought, Alex ran out of the door to see what was happening. </p><p>Kevin had his hands on Neil’s neck, and Neil was fighting back. Alex didn’t need to know anything else before he was yelling, “Kevin get the fuck off of him!” and grabbing onto Kevin’s arm and pulling it away from Neil. He managed to wrench Kevin’s arm away from Neil, but in turn, he missed avoiding the punch thrown his way. </p><p>“Jesus Neil, what did you say to him?” Alex asked, rubbing his cheek, this time actually dodging another hit. He saw an opening and took it, and Alex landed a hit squarely on Kevin’s jaw. He would’ve done it again, but Andrew stepped between them. Andrew was smiling and his stance was casual, but Matt knew better than to try his luck against him. Alex took a step back, silently conceding the fight, and shot Neil a worried look. “Seriously though, what the hell did you say to him?”</p><p>“Called him a deadweight has-been,” Neil replied in French, pointedly looking back at Kevin, daring him to go at him again. </p><p>Alex groaned and shifted into Polish, “I thought we were keeping a low profile, idiot.”</p><p>Before Neil could respond, someone else interrupted. Alex looked around the hallway and realised he’d missed the other Foxes congregating there. Danielle Wilds swept a dark look between Andrew’s group and Neil and Alex. It completely contrasted the stars in Alex’s eyes. </p><p>Dan said, “What do you think you’re doing? It’s our first day back. Why are we fighting already?”</p><p>“Technically we never left,” Andrew said, “and they’ve been here a couple weeks, so it’s your first day back, not ours.” He leaned to one side, looking past her to her roommate. “Hello, Renee. About time!”</p><p>Dan didn’t give Renee a chance to answer. “Explanation now, Andrew.”</p><p>“You’re looking at me like it’s my fault.” Andrew wagged a finger at her. “Look again, why don’t you? Neil’s at our room, which meant he brought the fight to us. Dan, your bias is cruel and unprofessional.”</p><p>Dan turned on Alex next. The Foxes’ captain was shorter than he was, but not by much. Her curly brown hair was cut mercilessly short and was dishevelled from moving in. She swept both Alex and Neil with quick head-to-toes, brown eyes narrowed. “What’s the problem?”</p><p>Alex swung his body round to face his brother, eyebrows raised in a do you want to be the one to explain?</p><p>“There isn’t one,” Neil said. Alex groaned. Of course, Neil was going to completely avoid saying anything. When Dan jerked a hand between him, Alex, and Kevin, Neil shrugged. “Just a difference of opinion.”</p><p>“Some difference of opinion,” Alex muttered under his breath. Neil elbowed him in the ribs. </p><p>“We’re getting along splendidly,” Andrew said. “Neil even agreed to ride to the stadium with us. Such a shame there aren’t enough seats for Alex, he’ll have to go with you, Captain.”</p><p>“Is that right?” Dan asked, obviously sceptical of Andrew randomly assigning them groups. </p><p>They all looked at Alex and Neil, who looked at each other. Alex knew that Neil had massive damage control to do, so he shrugged. If he had just stuck to confronting Kevin verbally it wouldn’t have been such an issue, although really it was Kevin that had made it violent. </p><p>Alex shrugged. </p><p>“Yes,” Neil said.</p><p>Dan looked ready to argue but Matt quieted her with a touch on her arm. Dan sent Andrew a suspicious glare, then shook her head. “I don’t know who started this, but the fighting stops now.”</p><p>“Always the optimist,” Andrew said, and gave Neil his two-fingered salute. “See you soon. Don’t run off, okay?” </p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Neil lied. Alex resisted the urge to laugh. </p><p>Andrew vanished into his room. Aaron followed, with Nicky close behind sending an apologetic look towards Alex. Kevin was the last to move. He sent Neil a chilly look in parting and slammed the door behind him. Alex and Neil were left staring after them. </p><p>“Was that some weird kind of pseudo-flirting or something?” Alex asked his brother because that was really fucking strange. </p><p>“Shut up,” Neil said, followed by another elbow to the ribs on Alex’s part. “I need to talk to you. Come walk.”</p><p>Together they walked to the lift, silent until they were five minutes into their trek round Perimeter Road. </p><p>“I told you to keep watch on our things, and what did you do? The exact opposite.”</p><p>Well then. Neil really knew how to start a conversation.</p><p>“How was I supposed to bloody know that Minyard would go through our stuff?” Alex retorted. </p><p>Neil stopped walking to glare at Alex. “That’s not even the point. I specifically asked you to make sure nobody breaks into our room, to keep our things safe. You go into Nicky’s room to hang out with him, thinking it’s fine, it’s just a one-time thing. No. I know it isn’t. You know it isn’t. We both know your tendencies. Look at Creston. Look at Zwiesel, Lipowa, Reinthal, Martisberg, I could go on. You. Get. Attached. That is something we don’t need, okay?”</p><p>“Yeah well, I don’t have mum to hit me now.”</p><p>“She only did that because you didn’t want to leave.”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter. She isn’t around now, so I can do what I want. “</p><p>“No, you can’t.”</p><p>“Yes, I can. As long as we don’t get caught, we’re fine. And be making friends isn’t going to do that. So, stay out of it. Besides, it isn’t me that made the stalker binder. You should change what’s inside it. I think Minyard is mostly suspicious about your Kevin Day obsession,” Alex said, and started walking back to Fox Tower.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well this was a trip to write. i have worked out some of the logistics of eden's so be prepared for that. i definitely won't have it done by the end of the year because advanced higher dissertations lmao but keep an eye out</p><p>follow my <a href="https://twitter.com/rikowhoreyama">twitter</a> if you want some random aftg stuff or you want to be mutuals</p><p>i appreciate everyone that reads this i love you all xx</p>
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